The Browning Beat

My Sis and I

2012-01-20T23:46:00.000-08:00

This was taken in late September I think! This was Jessica when she was about seven or eight months along ... and me ... early on in my pregnancy! ;)

Sometimes I see pictures that I meant to share earlier ... oh well. Better late than never!

Uh ... Oh ...

2012-01-08T14:14:00.000-08:00

UH ... OH ...

Yup. Mom did it. Rookie move. Mom put an egg carton with snacks in it (great by the way for fine motor skills) in front of Max....

... but Mom also left the snack CONTAINER next to Max.

That meant snack galore in the egg carton.

Little stinker.

Chloe decided to help "clean up" the mess.

Max wasn't sure about her involvement in the whole deal. After all he WAS the BRAIN CHILD of such a genius plan.

The mess got "cleaned up" and we all giggled.

Merry Christmas 2011

2011-12-13T08:24:00.000-08:00

Here are a couple of the images that our dear friend, Jenny Savage was able to get this last Sunday. It is NO SMALL thing to get eight little faces to look forward! She did a great job. We usually opt to have our picture taken outside as it yields great light and better contrast, but it is awfully cold outside and I imagined weeping and gnashing of teeth to accomplish that small miracle. So, to keep the littles somewhat happy, we stayed inside.

I hope to settle down and upload some more images and do a better update when I have time, but things lately have been pretty busy.

Until then, have a blessed time spent with family and friends remembering why we rejoice -

It's all about our Lord and Saviour ... Jesus Christ.

He came to die that we may live.

Merry Christmas

Phillip, Charrissa, Isaac, Gabriel, Ethan, Max, Elisabeth, Ivanna, Chloe, Justus and soon to debut: Christian Lee

Grateful Hands

2011-09-22T09:26:00.000-07:00

Every year we make hand wreaths. Each child traces their hands on different autumn colored paper and then we make a wreath out of it and hang it on the back door. This year I thought why not expound on that idea. So each scissor abled child traced and cut MANY hands on different paper. They not only made wreaths but they also had loose hands that we scattered on the windows ... sort of like Autumn leaves falling to the ground. Oh ... the best part ... on each hand every child wrote something he or she is grateful for. We call it "Grateful Hands". It is an extremely fun project and made for wonderful conversation and some giggles along the way.

I love Fall. I love the look, the smells, and just the overall coziness.

We love decorating around here for Autumn just as much as we love decorating for Christmas!

Kidlets gathered around the table after school.

Tracing and cutting. Now ... you could make this a more efficient and faster process if you traced/cut out one hand for a template and then layered paper under and cut out many hands. But ... I not only enjoyed their conversation as they worked ... but some much needed Mommy Tea time and a break while the process took place ... ;)

Gabriel hard at work. He is a PERFECTIONIST. Hmmmm ... wonder where he gets that?

Ellie girl.

Some hands on the window as Isaac worked on his.

Our dining area becoming a Fall Haven.

Some wreaths and hands up. On the wreaths I have the children write their names, the date and their age. I try and save every wreath. It is a sweet keepsake that chronicles their hand size.

More wreaths.

Gotta be thankful for food. ;)

And of course ... the Christmas season. Actually there were some very well thought out things the children declared gratitude over ... family, salvation, church, the bible, food, Christmas, The Lord ... and the all important ... pretzel. (that was Chloe's sentiment)

Grandpa's Hat

2011-08-30T22:05:00.000-07:00

In clearing my Dad's stuff out of his house and packing it up, we ran across several of his cowboy hats. Gabriel found this one in the garage the other day and put it on. He hardly ever takes it off now and prances around with it all day, literally - almost unaware he even has it on. He loves the thing. It's a tender reminder to me of two things. Of course, my Dad ... but also of my Gabe's heart. I'm sure it is that much more special to him because this hat is no ordinary hat. It is the hat of his grandfather ... fisherman extraordinaire, outdoors man to the hilt and owner of pretty cool hats. I think this picture would bring a smile to my Dad's face.

(and yes, Gabriel just recently got braces ... such a big boy)

I know this is blurry. I just like how it shows the love between Gabe and his sister, Ivanna. He really is a tender boy and has a heart for each of his siblings. He is always right there to try and help or play with a little. Look at Ivanna's face - she loves the attention.

Big Brother

2011-08-11T08:55:00.000-07:00

Woz, the Ladybug

2011-08-08T21:49:00.000-07:00

Meet Woz

Woz (pronounced 'Rose' - for those confused) is a new found pet. Ellie, our five year old, came in with Woz the other day and declared her a pet! What do five year olds do with tiny bean sized pets? Put them in a Ziploc baggie of course! She then found a pen and wrote (phonetically) Woz's name.

I laughed hysterically.

I never figured that to her, when people say 'Rose' - it sounds like 'Woz'. How cute she is.

The name Rose, will never be the same to me...

Random Browning ... ness

2011-08-01T08:03:00.000-07:00

I will apologize right from the start for all the pics. I admittedly got a bit carried away in this post.But, who can blame me when there is so much cuteness to behold?

Like this.

Or this.

This T-Shirt was from Uncle Lucas and Aunt Jessica. It says:

"Nothing Tips Like A Cow"

... or how about a cute little girl ...

This pic below is of two eagles soaring above our house.

Eagles are beautiful and in recent years, are becoming quite common around our home.

These pics below are of a recent project Ellie and Ethan did. "Snow"globes. Actually we took old chess pieces (civil war) and super glued them to the insides of canning jar lids. Then we filled the canning jars with glitter and water. Once the chess pieces are adhered, then you can tip them over, screw them on jar and super glue the lid on and viola - a pretty fun project.

Just don't be like me and super glue your own fingers together.

The day my Dad passed away, I decided to go for a walk down to the beach which is just down from the hill from our house. I took my camera to have pics of the day - I don't know why, just wanted to. Glad I did.

The ferry was coming in.

The sun was setting.

Then my husband found me and decided to try and make me laugh. He succeeded.

I am glad I got these images. It was as if God was just using His creation to help calm. Plus, my Dad always loved being outside, and when he was upset - he would often go for a walk to help calm him. It just seemed to be the right platform to reflect upon and remember him.

Yes, beautiful. The ferry passes right through as the sun sets.

And what is being down on the beach without throwing around big rocks?

Boys may grow into men, but somehow that little boy spirit remains.

... and it's perfect in times like these ...

Difficult Goodbye

2011-07-07T08:37:00.001-07:00

There are times when silence is required. There are times when you try to vocalize those thoughts within and the feelings pulsing through you - only to fall short. The last few weeks I have tried to post - only to delete or sequester the post to "drafts". I praise God for allowing those times of quiet, so I could listen to His still, small voice. The Great Comforter - comforted. If you have wondered why there has not been much activity on this or our adoption blog, it is because those things become less priority when in the midst of difficulty. After all, it is only a blog. However, I do feel that I need to express what has happened as of late, and not simply ignore it - and in so doing express my deepest desire to come from it all.

The above picture is one of my Grandmother, and Grandfather Bender and their daughter and son (my father - Bruce). June 11th, a few short weeks ago, my Dad passed from this life to eternity. If that were the end of the story, that would be difficult enough, but it isn't.

Unfortunately, my father decided to take his own life - and died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

To answer what you might be wondering: no note was left. No good-bye. No voice message.

I am his only child, and Dad was not married at the time - although he had been married twice before.

Death is difficult - and suicide is very painful for those left behind. There are so many unanswered questions. There are so many "what - ifs" and grappling with remorse, guilt, a deep mourning, and yes ... a little anger at times.

But at the heart of it all, I miss him - I miss my Dad. I still have a hard time digesting it all.

Dad and I didn't always have the best of relationships. Much played a part in that. Divorce of both my parents at a young age didn't help and add to that different stresses that life can afford in general, made it hard at times.

That doesn't change this: he is my father. I love him so very much. I miss him and am so saddened that he is gone. That he felt that this life wasn't worth living anymore, it hurts so deeply.

We all have times where we have a fleeting thought of someone, thinking we need to stop by and visit them, or give them a call - only to get caught up in our day and forget. I can't tell you how often that happened to me with regards to my Dad. To my shame. There were many times that he was laid on my heart, and I got caught up in my busyness.

Many have offered that it isn't my fault. Nothing I could have done would have changed the outcome. Perhaps.

Trust me, I am not the type to dwell there. However, I do need to take account for what I know is truth, and that is HARD. Yet, it is required. The truth is I could have done a much better job of keeping the communication up. I can't stress enough how important it is. When someone crosses your thoughts or heart - it is for a reason.

This is my regret, don't let it be yours.

The other side of this - is that I can't speak to my father's death without recognizing that I so wish he could have experienced the peace that Christ can offer. The way he died is so hard because you know that he must of been in some inner agony and turmoil. I so wish he could have been freed from that.

I don't know the heart of man. I can't judge that - even though I have tried and tried to grab ahold of that surrounding my father's death - I have tried so desperately to sleuth out any evidence of faith that he may have had, only to be reminded that I am not God - only He knows the heart of man.

The heart of man. How is your heart?

Eternity exists. Whether you choose to acknowledge it or not. It is important to know where you will reside once this life here on Earth is finished, and you CAN know. It's not a shot in the dark. It's real.

IT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION YOU CAN MAKE.

Romans 10:13 "For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved."
- Call out to God in the name of Jesus!

Romans 10:9,10 "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation."
- If you know that God is knocking on your heart's door, ask Him to come into your heart. You can know for sure that your home is in Heaven when you die.

Having a relationship with Christ is just that. Salvation is not a church membership, or by baptism - although these things are good and should be studied out once you ask Christ into your heart.

Salvation is a free gift. It is simple and doesn't require elegant speech or specific words to say. It requires you to confess Christ with your lips and believe He died and rose again from within your heart.

That is why I feel compelled to be transparent and tell you not only that my father passed, but how he passed. Again, I don't know the heart of man. No one can. It is not for me to judge. However, I can say that God can get glory, even from this. Don't misunderstand. My Lord is more grieved than I at my father's passing. I know that. Yet I also know that God can get glory even through difficult and tragic situations.

There is a world of people before us. Hurting. In deep turmoil. In agony of spirit. Only wanting others to reach out to them. Are we about our own busyness, our own life and doings - or are we about sharing our hope that resides within?

Do we take the time to reach out to family, and friends?

It saddens me at length to know that it has taken this as a stark reminder.

Eccl. 7:2 "It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart."

This is tragic. This is hard. I hate that this has happened. That I have had to share with my older boys how Grandpa died. Yet, I KNOW that in even this - there is a lesson. Yes, a hard and horrible lesson . "... and the living will lay it to his heart."

I have laid it to my heart. I pray I will not forget. Souls are important. Relationships matter and have been placed before me for a reason. May I not be neglectful in them.

~~ I love you Dad ~~

This picture was taken not even two years ago. One month before my Grandmother passed. Dad is holding Justus - then just three months old. Dad was a good man, and loved his grandchildren very much.

Apart of me wishes I could go back for a moment in time. To be privy to what was about to occur, and somehow prevent it. To keep it from happening. I cannot. I cannot erase what has been - I can only go forward and glean what I can.

Thank you for your prayer.

Crazy Chloe

2011-06-05T23:09:00.000-07:00

I love this crazy three year old.

(Isaac, my twelve year old took these pics unknown to me - what a fun surprise to get)

Wait for it ...

2011-05-20T22:54:00.000-07:00

Just hanging out ...

No big deal.
Oh wait. That's Mom.

I know she holds me if I cry ... so here it goes.

Gotta make sure she is looking.

Going ... going ...

Gone.

Ocean Bliss

2011-04-28T07:39:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago we headed as a family to one of our favorite places. The Ocean. It's about 3 hours away (probably a little less) and we go to a little town called Westport. It is just an old fishing town. Not much to offer (nothing really) as far as touristy things. Perfect for us though. There is a little bay, known as Half Moon Bay and then you can access the main beach at Westhaven beach. To me - I just take a DEEP breath and automatically relax when at the Ocean. I really, really love it there. It's relaxing. I don't care about ugly windblown hair, sand in the car, or dirty little faces. The kids walk barefoot, even when it is blowing cold air and raining there. It's just enjoyable.

Phillip always went here as a teenager to go surfing with his friends. He still surfs - just not as often. Isaac has also been surfing with Daddy - and I hope we can get Gabriel out there this summer. I have always gone to the Ocean. Even as a child. My dad owned a cabin in Rockaway, Oregon and we would go every few weeks, with Bon Fires and S'mores - body surfing and fishing or crabbing - it will always be etched in my mind's eye as some of the BEST memories I had. Maybe that is why I love it there so much. Now, if we could somehow manage to make a living and find a farmhouse on acreage next to the beaches there - I would be in heaven on earth. ;)

Enjoy these pics.

Don't mind the no pants Ivanna. She had a little accident, and so off they went. Bare piggies and all ...

Showing her flexibility skills. This isn't even the half of it. She can do a full on pike and "clap" her feet together in the air. So strange to watch - I'm always in awe of it.
Just a random log picture.

Ethan being cute.

Yes, it was cold, windy and AWESOME! ;)

Sheer joy. That's my Ellie girl.

Taken at Half Moon Bay.

*sigh* our old dog, Shep. As of right now - I am not too happy with him. I cleaned up another mess. He is nearly 14 years old. Age is starting to affect him.

The gang.

The three littles. So cute. Oh, and Max and Ivanna's first Ocean trip. They loved it.

I love this crew.

Justus and his beautiful smile.

Ivanna loved the breeze and her hands! ;)

Justus checking out the grass.

Catch Up

2011-03-07T23:30:00.000-08:00

Well, a bunch of things have been happening lately here at the Browning house. I have posted a few pics to summarize the last few weeks.

Gabriel just celebrated turning 10 years old! For a gift he got a little money, some Georgia boots, and a fishing rod.

I typically cook whoever is celebrating their birthday - their favorite meal. Gabe picked the following:
Homemade chicken strips, baked potatoes, and shrimp. For dessert: ice cream sunday bar

Just a random picture outside my kitchen window.

Chloe has started K4, and seems to be left handed.

Super cuteness.

Ethan lost ... ahem ... several teeth.

SEE!

Justus has been doing what he does best: making messes. This picture is where he got left with a whole bag of cheerios on his highchair. The cheerios ended up on the floor. Great fun for babies!

The mess.

The boy.

We have been making a whole lot of egg salad sandwiches. YUM. Learned a trick to peel farm fresh eggs. They can be really sticky when hard boiled. So ... steam them. Then rinse in cold water. VIOLA! Shell slips right off!

This is how much we make for ONE lunch here at our house!

Everyone seems to be on the mend from some nasty colds and flu bugs. I am READY for Spring!!! Ivanna and Max continue to do well. Isaac is busy preparing music for what could be an offeratory (sp???) Gabriel is also really progressing with piano, and Ethan is losing teeth and gaining an appetite. (oi) Ellie is learning to read and Chloe is learning some phonetical foundations. Justus is cute as ever and has now started to pull himself up on furniture. Can't believe he will be two in a couple of months. Phillip is planning the veggie garden and still commutes daily. I am currently seeking Calgon ...

... (wink wink) ...

Making Bread

2011-02-14T00:35:00.000-08:00

Thanks to my sweet friend, Amanda - I have now fell in love with making bread by hand. I just love it. My three year old, Chloe loves it too. She helped me on Saturday making four BIG loaves of yummy bread (I doubled a recipe to make eight small loaves, but decided to make four big ones instead). Chloe helped to knead the dough for fifteen minutes. She marvelled at how messy it was, but never complained. She truly is a mama's helper. This particular day, she came down all dressed in black (in photos she has her apron on) and proudly proclaimed that she was ...

... a blackberry! :)

LOVED IT!

Christmas Cuteness

2011-01-12T23:45:00.000-08:00

I am ashamed to admit this ... these were just taken on Saturday. Yes, that would mean that my Christmas tree is STILL UP!

*sigh*

At this rate, I'm just hoping it isn't still up in February.

A Little Chicken Fun

2011-01-06T15:18:00.000-08:00

Our chickens really are a bunch of fun. We really like having them around. Unfortunately, we lost an Americauna hen the other day to a coyote - sad. So, now we have fourteen chickens, with one rooster in the mix. Today we thought we would have some chicken fun while the littles slept upstairs, I quickly grabbed my camera and one of the gingerbread houses the kids made. I snapped several pictures of them eating the house, as well as some of our very handsome rooster. I even got a sequence of a hen laying an egg. Enjoy ....

crowing

catching roosters is always a risky business.

This guy will charge you!

Hens raise their tail feathers and nest when they get ready to lay an egg. Then the tail will shake and out it will come ...

We have been getting roughly 5 - 9 eggs a day - just depending. Usually you get less eggs during the winter. So, we are excited to see what summer brings! Want to buys some eggs? LOL

Tree Gettin' 2010

2010-12-14T22:24:00.000-08:00

So, what do you do once your husband and two new children are home for only a day and a half? Why, you go get your Christmas Tree!!!!

Oh man. We are a bunch o' crazies. (lovin' it)

So ... we got all eight kidlets ready, took some pictures along the way and piled into the car - along with the dog!

(told ya ... crazies ...)

I got a quick picture of Ivanna all dressed sweet for the occassion!

(Isn't she beautiful?)
Oh ... but she was off once that picture was snapped!

I can't get over Max's eyes. He is just beautiful as well. He reminds me alot of Chloe. I think it's all because both children have BIG expressive eyes.

Max has excellent taste in literature. 'The Open Door' by Mrs. Ragsdale. I highly recommend!

Whoa! Good thing this boy has a red coat, so we can see him!

Grand Adventurer Gabe!

Ellie walking Shep on the tree farm.

Ethan sitting by the creek bed.

What a sweet face!

Chloe out trompin' around.

The girls exploring.

Max says America is chilly too!

Daddy will keep you safe and warm Max! Always ...

Daddy getting the tree!

Beautiful Ivanna! In different outfit now.

Max thinks having big brothers is pretty cool.

Big brothers do things like plop you on their shoulders and show you the Christmas tree.

We had a great time! This is one of our favorite Christmas traditions. We ALL have to go and find the perfect tree, but it is usually Phillip and myself that pick it out while all the kids are running wild in the tree farm. After we haul it on top of the vehicle, we make our way to the cashier and load up on mini candy canes.

I love getting back to the house and making it all festive. This year is extra special.

Our First Day

2010-12-03T23:04:00.000-08:00

Well, it has been awhile since I last posted on this blog. I'm back! I didn't want to blog on this until Max and Ivanna were indeed home. My husband and I will still be blogging on 'An Extra Leaf' about Ivanna and Max's progression and adjustment, advocating for other children and adopting families, and anything else that could be helpful to those who are considering adoption or may be already in the process.

I apologize in advance, but I will probably put these pictures up on 'An Extra Leaf' too.

For now, I wanted to share these pictures from our first day. We celebrated Thanksgiving today, and have so much to count as blessings. Enjoy the pictures.

Max just LOVES his balloon

Daddy loving his little gir.

I know it's late in coming, but ... HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU AND YOURS!

Anticipation

2010-10-19T07:47:00.000-07:00

I sit at my computer and type, as I ponder this very thought: this is potentially the last Tuesday morning that I will have a house full of six children.

Soon, it will be a house full of eight or nine children. Very soon.

You see, we got our SDA appointment this morning - it is scheduled for October 28th. That is next Thursday. However, with it being so far away, and knowing that it is wise to get there within a day or two ahead of time - we may be travelling a week from today. Crazy. Exciting.

So, you will have to excuse no new posts from me for awhile. We will try and keep our adoption blog updated from within the country. Our adoption blog: www.anextrealeaf.blogspot.com
Encouraging words will be such a blessing as we are in Eastern Europe. We thank you in advance for taking the time to leave comments.

Thank you for the support and prayer. They mean so much!

Happy Birthday lil' Chlobug

2010-10-07T10:37:00.001-07:00

Always so cute,
so exploratory,

full of life,

very close to her sister,

loves new toys,

extremely photogenic,

very loving,

fun spirited,

smiles easily,

beautiful (even with a runny nose),

and has the MOST beautiful hair and bluest - BIGGEST eyes EVER!

My lil' Chlobug.

Happy Third Birthday darling. I prayed for a red head little girl. I got one. You are beautiful and I LOVE YOU!!!!

I went into labor on Ellie's second birthday with Chloe - and was able to bring home the best gift ever: a sister.

Happy Birthday Ellie Girl

2010-10-06T08:09:00.000-07:00

Beautiful Ellie Girl
She loves to have fun and,

loves her Daddy's shoes,

and ice cream,

and silly faces,

and pretty pink nails,

and little brothers,

and snuggle times,

and the camera,

and dress up,

and family outings,

and Daddy/Ellie time.

Happy fifth birthday sweet Ellie girl. You bring so much joy to our family. I will never forget when the doctor announced five years ago, that you were indeed a girl. What a beautiful and wonderful suprise! We love you and are so thankful for you.

Buddy Walk 2010

2010-10-05T08:27:00.000-07:00

Buddy Walk is an annual Down syndrome awareness walk that takes place nationwide. October is also Down syndrome awareness month. This was our first year of participation and we had an amazing time. We loved it. Seeing the faces, and talking with other parents. It was a joy. We also had the honor of representing Reece's Rainbow at a table. We were able to share our adoption journey thus far with several as well as get the word out on the children still waiting for families.

The following are just random, out of order pictures from this day.

Butter on the walk with Dad. Daddy's strong shoulders. Something tells me that Butter will always be able to lean on them.

Darth standing in front of the Seattle Center as we walked by.

Boys wanted a picture.

A young man giving a speech. He is an amazing individual. He works for King County and is quite accomplished despite what many would define as an uphill battle.

Chloe with her Buddy Walk Bling in her hair, Reece's Rainbow painting on her face, and her T-shirt on. Cuteness.

Ellie girl sportin' the same style.

Our table for Reece's Rainbow. To the left we had our own adoption "stuff" with pictures of Matthew and Ivanna, wristbands, and copies of 'An Extra Leaf'. In the middle we had the story of Hailee from "No Greater Joy Mom's" blog with before and after photos. We also had an explanation of Reece's Rainbow with pamphlets, etc . To the right we had "Buddy Walk Bling" for donations and a huge jar of candy corn (left over from Jessica and Lucas' wedding)

Isaac sportin' the T-shirt

Justus checking out all the craziness.

Mary and I holding Butter.

We were right at the base of the Space Needle. Such a great location.

The start/finish line for the walk

Ricky Potvin walked with us. His whole family came, and we had a great time together. They are a sweet family and we love them to pieces.

Me and my Butter boy.

Our family at the fountain. The walk took you to the fountain, around the fountain and back again.

The Newcomb family also came. We love them so much. They are our adopted family. They have been such a blessing to us in so many ways. WE LOVE US SOME NUKES!

Randomness

2010-09-29T08:12:00.000-07:00

In the fourth grade students are required to put together a state notebook, and since we live so close to the state's capital - we take opportunity to hop down there and take pictures and have a type of field trip. We have made this same trip before with Isaac. It never gets old. That place is beautiful and breathtaking. All of the inside is marble, and simply amazing. To walk through the senate chamber and see where important state decisions are made - is awesome. It reminds me of the importance of participating in the simple act of voting - there is such a responsibility in participating in even the simple ways, when so much affects us. There is also a very old piano located within the capitol that both boys have been able to play hymns on. That brought tears to my eyes. This particular day we also took opportunity to apostille our adoption dossier and have lunch on the capitol grounds. It was a fun day. There are two more random pics on the bottom. Ellie and Chloe's birthdays are coming up, and we allowed each to have a bunny. So adorable! Then I also included a sweet picture of Justus. He is doing well, and we are looking forward in participating in the Buddy Walk this weekend.

Have a beautiful day!

The capitol

Squirrel and her pet lady. This is a "wild" squirrel that lives on the grounds. Ummmm ... I don't care HOW tame it is - I watched "Old Yeller" and won't come close to petting that critter!

Inside of capitol dome

Gabriel beside the seal

The capitol building

The traditional pick by my hubby.

More of our capitol

Iron Wheat

Ellie with her early birthday present "Oreo". Also, let me just point out, she proudly dressed herself this day.

Butter, with all his cuteness

One Year Ago Today

2010-09-17T06:42:00.000-07:00

I apologize for the order of pictures. Was having difficulty with uploading.

Pastor holding Justus prior to surgery.

Justus' chest prior to surgery. No scar yet.

Justus: day two. Notice the growing bruise on his chest.

Justus after the emergency re - intubation on September 20th, due to unexplained fever.

One year ago today we handed our little Justus over to a team of cardiologists for open heart surgery to repair Tetrology of Fallot. Justus was born with this condition that requires surgery because of the strain this condition puts on the heart. When first born, we were told that we were on a watch and wait type of game - in determining when he had to have surgery, hoping to reach a year, but not much past that. At four months old, Justus started to have a few "blue baby" or "Tet" spells. This indicated that his oxygen saturation in his blood was not what it should be. His pressures were also rising. These two things in conjunction with one another, was a strong indicator that surgery was needed. His surgery was scheduled at Seattle Children's Hospital for September 17th, 2009. We arranged to stay at the Ronald McDonald House, located a few blocks away. We also arranged for our friends, the Hand family, to stay with our other children. Many prayed, and we trusted Christ with our child; thus we felt as prepared as we could.

We had to be at the hospital by 6:00am on the 17th. I remember stressing the evening before, because Justus had to be fasting from midnight onward. I knew that once he awoke that morning, he would want to nurse and cuddle. I paced the hospital floor with him that morning, praying, weeping - not because Justus was fussy or difficult. I wept at the notion of handing over my sweet, smiling infant - all the while knowing the difficulty that could lie ahead. Oh ... I had faith, I trusted in Christ, and I knew this surgery was needful to prolong Justus' life. It was just so difficult to hand him over. One of the hardest things I have truly had to encounter.

The next six or so hours was filled with walking the hospital floors, praying, weeping, reading scripture, talking with our Pastor, visiting with sweet friends who came to pray with us, and ... yes, I do admit - worrying. They finally called us to the cardiac intensive care unit. I walked in, and this is what I saw:

We had been warned, and yet - it was still so difficult to see for me. I was thankful, yet felt helpless. The next hours were filled with watching his vitals. He was on heavy doses of morphine, antibiotics, diuretics, and some other medications. That very next day they started the process of taking him off the ventilator. This required allowing him to come off the morphine, so that he would be awake enough, triggering his body to know that he actually had to breathe on his own. Later that day, we could hear a clicking or thumping noise coming from his chest, even when we just entered the room. We brought it up to the nurse, thinking maybe his sternum??? One doctor came in and reassured us that this could not be, that the sternum coming apart was VERY RARE. Meanwhile, we noticed a dark spot around his incision. He seem agitated, and I thought it was because of his surgery. He went through the night without pain medication, and quite fussy. That very next morning (early) his surgeon was doing rounds. He immediately decided that it WAS HIS STERNUM! That the noise was the bone rubbing against itself, and the spot was a growing bruise on his chest. He was put back on the ventilator and rushed in to repair his sternum, this time with wire.

Relief actually washed over us, at least there was an answer and fix. However, I did find myself questioning why this would happen. Why would God allow it? I got my answer. When Justus was taken in for the sternum repair, I broke down and started to weep. My husband comforted me and I wiped my tears away to see that the nurse was still in the room. I apologized to her and she was so kind in return. She then started to ask me questions about my faith. She had noticed how we prayed, how others who came into the room were "peaceful" and not wrought by strife or worry. She asked about heaven and hell. I knew, right then and there, why my boy was back in the OR. It was so I could witness to Aileen. I will never know what that will mean in eternity, but I can be thankful and glad for the opportunity.

Justus was now, on what I thought the road to recovery. However, there was one more bump coming. That very next day was my birthday. Justus seemed to be doing great. We even were moved to a different room, and he was once again, taken off the ventilator. Our friends, the Hands, brought our other children there that evening to wish me Happy Birthday. I went out to the waiting area, and had left Justus in a pleasant state. I had only been gone about a half hour. I walked back into the room to find my baby just didn't "look right". His eyes were rolled back, his hands and feet were blue, and he kept grunting. I looked on the monitor and his heart rate was 200 b/m. Not good. I told the nurse, and immediately a team was called in. He had a high fever, and his rates were not good. Low sats, high fever, high resp. etc. They packed ice around him. It was difficult to watch. There was no explanation for this. Could it be the worst case scenario ... infection? Justus was not doing well ... at all. They had to do an emergency re-intubation. (ventilator again) to help him breathe and give his body a break from working so hard, in hopes that this would allow his rates to better. It did not. All through the night he fought. Only one person could stay in the room. My husband chose to, and I went to the RMH to try and sleep. I called a friend that evening, and was so very transparent with her. Truth be told, I was scared. I trusted in Christ. I knew that He could do whatever He wanted. I knew that I should be okay with losing my child, if God saw fit to take his life. . . . . but I was not okay with it. I was not okay with the notion of losing my baby. I wept until I was sure there were no tears left. I just was at the end of myself, wanting nothing more than for God to hear my pleading.

He didn't have to - answer our prayer that is. He is a just God, despite what our notions are. Truth is: even if Justus had gone to be with the Lord that night, it was a far better place for him, than here. It was my selfish, mothering desire, that my son remain here. I again - questioned God. What in the world? Why this? I should have known better.

It was during this time, while Justus was being re-intubated, that I rushed into the waiting area - and wept. Not caring this time who was around. Not guarding any emotions. I truly thought that Justus was dying. The way he looked .... Our pastor came that evening (he left church on a Sunday evening with direction for them to just be in prayer for Justus the whole time) and prayed with us. We prayed in the waiting area. Near us was a group of women. I knew that, but had no idea what "their story was". As we said our "amens" I raised my head and saw through tears, that these women had come up beside us and prayed with us! They had no idea what we were praying for, they just felt led to pray with us. We asked what they were here for. A woman, by the name of Alecs, then relayed to us, that her son - David, was here awaiting a heart transplant, and was not doing well. Her husband was a missionary and was out of country. These other women came to pray with her from their Russian speaking church.

The next several days saw Justus getting better, and was opportunity for our family, friends, and pastor to be a blessing to Alecs and little David. We were able to pray with her, try and comfort her and bring her a few gifts. Justus improved rapidly and we were discharged. We went back on one occasion to visit with Alecs and David. We continued to feel so burdened for him. Unfortunately for Alecs and her husband, David went to be with the Lord in December 2009. He was almost four months old. I saw Alecs again at his funeral, and it was the most God glorifying memorial I had ever been to. It was powerful to hear the familiar hymns sung in Russian. There were three preachers who exalted the Lord with their messages, and even though it was a rough time - that room, overflowing with attendees, heard the gospel.

Fast forward a year. Justus is pink, thriving and healthy. Our past year has been ... a whirlwind. God has certainly brought us through quite a journey. Now ... we are adopting three children from Eastern Europe. We absolutely know, that the hospital stay, the Ronald McDonald House stay, and the meeting with Alecs and David - taught us and reminded us of the fragility and sanctity of life. That ALL life is precious and worth the fight. We know that this all had a part in bringing us to this point.

A few weeks ago, as I stood in the back of the church bouncing Justus on my shoulder, the sanctuary door opened. In walked ... Alecs and her husband, Igor. I just about started to cry. I could not believe my eyes. I was elated to see them. After service we sat and talked for a long time. We told them of our desire to adopt three children. We also learned that Igor not only grew up in, but also pastored in the SAME CITY we are adopting from. Wow! Praise the Lord for how He has led us on this journey. This journey that started over a year ago. This journey that has taught us so much, has allowed us opportunity to testify of Him. I would have never imagined. So, as I think back to a year ago today, I can't help but think of the journey that lies ahead. Praise the Lord!

Megarama Day 2010

2010-08-23T07:42:00.000-07:00

A beautiful ranch ~ The Forgotten Children's Ranch

I'm a lighthouse nut - and had to snap a picture of this as we headed out on the ferry.
A wagon ride.

The tractor that pulled the wagon.

Well, hello there old man!

Beauty of a horse.

Ethan, sportin' the look!

Phillip with Butter on the horse.

Cute! I especially like that good lookin' man with his hat on that doesn't quite fit! ;)
Really, I love that this man isn't too proud to put a cheesy hat on and do all the "kid" activities. He is SUCH a good Daddy.

Gabriel on his horse.

Ethan was enthralled and all smiles while on his horse. Love this kid with his brilliant radiant sunshine smile!

Chloe and Daddy on the horse.

I think all little girls LOVE horses!

Isaac lovin' his ride.

Justus getting a bit tired of the cowpoke look.

"Awww... that's better."

This little girl saw Butter, and wanted to touch him. I'm finding that is pretty common among those with Ds ~ wanting to explore new people or things by touch. For those of you who know and have been around Butter - you know this to be true of him. Watch your glasses ... and your nose! ;)

Ellie made Ivanna a bracelet during craft time!

THE perfect stroller! These are triplets. The first little girl has Ds.

During dessert time, Tim - the "sheriff" and a few other cowpokes got up and did an impromptu rendition to "Toy Story's" - 'You Gotta Friend In Me'

LOVE the expression on their faces!

Dear, sweet Annabelle - she's all about her orange frosting!

Butter really enjoyed his cupcake!

This funny gentleman played banjo and sung silly songs on our hayride. He told crazy stories and made our trip a great memory.

These two girls were beautiful to watch. We were on the wagon, and they sat next to each other. The one on the left LOVES cheese, the other little girl only likes meat. Phillip said they were perfect together - MEAT AND CHEESE! LOL
Everyone laughed. But watch the next two photos. The care and love. Beautiful.

Every year the Down Syndrome Community here in the greater Seattle area sponsors what is called Megarama Day at the Forgotten Children's Ranch on Whidbey Island. It is a day filled with beautiful faces, exploring beautiful scenery as well as many fun "cowboy like" activities. It's a day to recognize and give something special to not just those with Down syndrome, but their WHOLE family. That's my kind of activity! ;) The theme is of course, that of the old west ~ as the setting is on a horse ranch. The ranch is stunning. Set against a sunny backdrop of a sky and amongst lush green fields with a peek-a-boo view of the water. Awesome ... yet what was even better, was to see children AND adults with Down syndrome - smiling, happy, faces - all different "levels" of Ds ~ but all seemingly so happy. It filled my heart with joy. It's not something you see everyday - other people with Ds, it unfortunately is becoming less common, but forget about that for the moment ~ look at these faces!!! Ohhhh ... I wish you could have been there to experience it. It is something I won't forget and look forward to going to next year. AND ... guess what?!? Next year we get to take Matthew and Ivanna! Wooo Hooooo!

We met another woman there - whom I have had the privilege of exchanging emails with already - who has adopted five boys with Ds. The first two were domestic adoptions and the last three little boys were adopted from a Russian orphanage! I can't tell you how it felt to hold a little one who had been rescued from an institution. I couldn't help but feel as if I was holding onto Matthew - I truly, did not want to let go. I kissed his cheeks and I am sure his mom thought I was a bit strange. ;) I didn't get pictures of them, but they have promised to be at our Benefit dinner (see our adoption blog http://www.anextraleaf.blogspot.com/) this Saturday - ALL of them! YAY!

So enjoy these pictures. We enjoyed the day immensely ~ and are so very thankful for the opportunity to have gone. Our children enjoyed horse rides ~ even Butter! They got to do crafts, pet horses, go on a hay ride, and play capture the flag. They also got to explore an old western town the ranch has set up. So - Much - Fun!

Good Medicine

2010-08-20T08:48:00.000-07:00

LOVE ME SOME BUTTER BELLY LAUGHS!

Bite your teeth CUTE!

Come one ... laugh ... you know you want to!

Proverb 17:22

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

Perhaps this is one of the reasons Butter is doing so well ;)

This kid laughs and smiles almost all the time.

Berry Pickin'

2010-08-01T22:13:00.000-07:00

Ethan's best friend, Austin - with a creepy critter from the river!
An amazing bridge over the river. This was so very cool.

My most handsome Gabriel, in deep contemplation - or just tired of Mom asking him to pose.

Get it girl! This is Faith, Chloe's best buddy. She is also our little niece - just cuz! She doesn't like sweets at all ...

My sweet Lu running through the wheat fields.

Ah ha! There is sweet Faith.

Loved this pic.

Clayton and little Ellie Lu... cute.

Give ya two guesses ...

Making our way to the berries ... and Chloe is already sweet lookin' enough.

My sweet friend Amanda - she really is just ignoring the camera.

My Butter just hangin' in the grass.

My Isaac is growing into such a handsome ... (do I really have to say it?!?) ... man.

Chloe ... pondering the fields aplenty.

Purple Haze ...

A couple of weeks ago we headed to Sequim with our friends, the Savages, Newcombs, Mcarthurs and the McGaugheys where we all picked berries on a farm there. The farm was picturesque and the kids had a GrEaT time. The farm must be over one thousand acres big. Once there you can pick lavender, blueberries, marionberries, strawberries, raspberries, loganberries, blackberries, ya-da-ya-da-ya-da. It was a U-Pick and ahem ... a U-Eat. ;)

After berry pickin' and eatin' we took a break and had a picnic there on the farm next to a patch of wheat that was as tall as some of the kiddos and taller than others. The kids ran through it chasing one another, while we ladies sat in the sun and laughed. It was a great time of fellowship.

We packed up our berry stained kids, paid for our harvest and headed over to the river - where I saw the neatest bridge I have ever seen. It was a GREAT day. We definitely want to get over there and do it again. So now, we have our memories - and a freezer full of sun ripened berries. LOVE IT!

Summer Fun 2010

2010-07-27T09:33:00.000-07:00

Butter Love

2010-07-23T06:00:00.000-07:00

My little Butter is sweet to love on. He helps us all smile just a little bigger and welcomes the snuggly loves from his brothers and sisters. (well, perhaps he is just a BIT cautious of Chloe's most fervent loves) I was so tickled to get these on my camera. I love his and Ellie's smiles in the last photo.

Meet Monroe

2010-07-15T07:07:00.000-07:00

For those who want to be apart of adoption - but the financial committment is overwhelming, here is your chance to save a child. Monroe has a FULL grant of $20,000. You are literally just looking at spending out of pocket for a committment fee, homestudy, your USCIS application., and passports. Please - help save Monroe - upload this info and picture on your blog and facebook - let's get the word out. He only has six months left, and the paperwork process needs to be started NOW! You can go to http://www.reecesrainbow.com/ for more info.

Monroe (12)

BOY, Born February 4, 2005

SIGNIFICANT RISK, PLEASE ADOPT ME SOON!!

Monroe is a sunshine of a little boy! He is already 5 and blessed to still be at the baby house. He needs a family right away!

From a missionary who visited with him in June 2010: I met with the doctor in his Groupa House who brought me back to meet him. The Head Doctor wanted me to meet the children who needed equipment. While measuring him for a chair, she explained to me what was more important was that he get a family. He will be traferred in six months to the worst institution, restrained in a crib in a dark room. She broke into tears! Monroe has spastic cerebral palsy in all four limbs and is globally delayed. He is able to recognize the voices of his careworkers and understand simple directions. However, due to his spacitiy he is unable to do much of anything. No speech. With therapy he can improve but will always have limitations. I measured his head circumfeence and once home will check with a doctor regtarding whether ir not he is microcephalic as well. I will try to gather more information on him today. His temperament was sweet and his eyes twinkled. He needs a family fast!

From an adoptive family who visited with him in June 2009: Monroe has CP. It appears that he is unable to use his arms and legs and is not sitting up on his own. He has the most beautiful smile and I don't think there is much of a cognitive delay. He loves to be held and his whole face lights up when you come near him."

*** Monroe has an incredible benefactor who has offered a FULL GRANT of $20,000 for his adoption. He is facing imminent institutionalization, and will regress quickly once he is transferred. Families who are qualified (www.reecesrainbow.org/newfamily.html) to adopt internationally and who are approved to adopt a significantly delayed child should contact Andrea for more information. This is a very fast program and it is very possible to have him home before the end of 2010! ***

MORE PHOTOS AVAILABLE ~~~~ go to http://www.reecesrainbow.com/
Monroe has $20,000 in my grant fund towards the cost of his adoption!

Teeth

2010-07-13T23:24:00.000-07:00

Justus has TWO teeth! They just came through a couple of days ago. He has been a bit grumpy. He is also fighting a bit of a cold. His doctor went ahead and put him on a heavy duty antibiotic to try and keep it from becoming pneumonia. My sweet Justus is getting so big. Fourteen months old, two teeth, and sitting up on his own. He also can maneuver his own sippee cup now! Next thing I know, he'll be asking for my car keys!

Adoption Blog Auction ...

2010-07-13T00:28:00.000-07:00

... EnDs ToMoRrOw at midnight. Go check it out at http://www.anextraleaf.blogspot.com/

Lots of great items and wonderful creations by friends up for bid. I am truly astounded at people's generosity. I so appreciate those who have given of their time and talents to help bring Matthew and Ivanna home.

THANK YOU!

*pictured above is a beautiful 16 x 20 styrene mounted portrait that is available on blog auction.

Jessica is engaged!

2010-07-05T23:50:00.000-07:00

Lucas Burchett asked my little sister, Jessica, to marry him this fourth of July! What a wonderful way to start the firework display! We could not be more thrilled. He is an excellent addition to our family and we are very excited to see how God molds this young couple in their marriage! Let the wedding plans begin!!!

Dirty Birds

2010-07-01T11:12:00.000-07:00

A couple of days ago we decided to let the kids sit outside with the chickens. It was quite peaceful to watch as the chickens scratched away at the dirt and chomped on grass. Peaceful ... until one of those little chicks decided to do what birds do best - lay a stinky. Only this stinky landed right on Ethan's leg! He wasn't to thrilled about it. Of course, I thought it hilarious. So I grabbed my camera to document the whole thing. Chickens are fun, but they are also dirty little birdies - so make sure you handle with care! ;)

Today ...

2010-06-24T14:35:00.000-07:00

... I get to help a friend in need. Praise God for the ability to serve.

... I am racking my brain as to what in the WORLD am I going to throw in the oven for dinner!

...I am thinking about my precious Matthew and Ivanna a whole ocean and continent away.

...I am regretting that mocha freeze at Costco.

...I am at peace. Deeply burdened, but at peace that God is in control. Can't help but think of Paul.

... I am continually burdened about children who are mistreated and have NO loving parents to comfort them. With every utterance of breath I am praying ... continually... please God fill their tummies, let them feel joy, give them peace, and bring families forth to adopt these precious babies. PLEASE LORD.

...I am still grossed out that there was a yucky mouse scratching around in the boys room last night. I HOPE HE DIES!!!!

... and finally ... I am STILL chuckling that while I was pushing the cart in Costco today - Ellie (after being told and told to stand on the cart and not dawdle) got her skirt caught in the wheel, and well, the skirt came all the way down to her knees! What a good lesson learned for her - I couldn't HELP but burst into laughter. She turned red, and was compliant the rest of the shopping trip.

(Thanks Jenny S. for the post idea)

A Blog Suggestion

2010-06-21T21:45:00.000-07:00

Our last post was the very exciting announcement that we are endeavoring to adopt Matthew and Ivanna. Two sweet little orphans with Down syndrome in Eastern Europe. We also let you know of the adoption blog site that was created so you can follow along with us on our journey: www.anextraleaf.blogspot.com
For news about the adoption we hope you will follow along with us. We hope to keep our family blog updated with news of what is happening day to day here within our home. It will, I am sure, be hard to keep the two topics separate because we think and pray about Matthew and Ivanna and are focused on bringing them home.
That said, I will mention this one thing. Phillip and I have just recently been keeping up with a family that has just returned from Eastern Europe with two little girls (both with Ds) that they were able to adopt. This blog writer does an excellent job of writing of the conditions in the orphanage as well as how her daughters are now doing. She also strives to bring all honor and glory to our Lord. I read her posts and am in tears as I think that she is echoing my heart's cry. For those of you interested, here is her blog link: www.nogreaterjoymom.com

I also want to thank all of you who have left encouraging comments. We praise our Lord for such a wealth of support. It means SO MUCH to us to hear your sweet thoughts and sentiments. THANK YOU!!! Please feel free to link our new adoption blog to yours. We know that the more people who are praying for Matthew and Ivanna - the better.

Pure religion...

2010-06-17T21:50:00.000-07:00

...and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world. James 1:27

Charrissa and I in researching Down syndrome, happened across a website a couple of months ago, www.ReecesRainbow.com. This is a website with a bunch of pictures of disabled children, mainly children with Down syndrome, like my youngest son. These children are from other countries where the outlook for them is not good. On this website there was a lot of terminology for these children that I was unfamiliar with like “will be sent to the Institution soon.” I was unclear exactly what that meant other than that some of the children had statements about them like “once sent to the institution they cannot be adopted.” After further research, we found that these institutions were really referred to by their countrymen as insane asylums. We ran across articles like this one where volunteers working in an Eastern European Institution cataloged what they saw and experienced …(Read with Caution – not for young eyes)… following is an excerpt from the article I read:

"When we arrived at the orphanage we were met by older children without coats, they were begging us to give things to them and not to the directors. It is very hard to write about the rest of this part of the trip. I cannot give a step by step account because we were all in a state of shock. We spoke to the director about our program and he told us that he knows the children need more but he said, "I cannot ask my workers to do more, they work very hard, clearing the road, shoveling snow, cleaning the floors and the children, they have not time, they must work very hard all day and then they must dig graves and bury children." What do you say to that?
"Still, the staff took us around to show us how it is. Words don't come to mind, most of our team was crying and could not stop. Dark hallways, screaming, children clustered together in freezing rooms, some in strait-jackets, haunted looking crying, asking if they were good, asking for food. Water dripping from the dark ceilings, mold everywhere. We held children who were 10 and 13 years old in our arms like infants. One team member said later that she never knew that humans are like fish and will only grow to the size of their environment. One team member threw up outside. Children never leave their beds in some rooms. These children are ages 4-16. In other rooms they leave to go to a room with just a bench and nothing else in it. They hold each other -rocking one another. I have never seen such deprivation and our photographer said it best when he said it was a concentration camp for children. Sorry, this is such a hard part to write but I looked in the eyes of many children who are dying. Their tiny bones fit into the palm of my hands. Their skeleton faces begging for help. No one in our team has really slept since. We talk about it but just end up in tears. I promised the orphanage staff we would come back with a team of people to help them. They are counting on it. The director told one team member that 20 years ago he asked for help there and the soviet minister came and visited. The visiting soviet minister told the director, 'why do you keep these animals alive? You can kill them, you know how to do it you are a doctor.' He never sent any money or aid to the orphanage."

We also read current stories, like of a family who was just in the same country for an adoption of a Ds child about a month ago, and was told by the orphanage head and the judge that saw their case that these children would not survive had they not been adopted. In their own country they know of the problem.

My son is not insane nor is he lacking anything that should deprive him of an opportunity for life. Yet these children are cast out because they are considered undesirable, or beyond real help. That is where the Christian in me says that this is no different than my story of salvation. I am undesirable and yet God loved me enough to send His Son to pay the penalty for my sin on Calvary. He loved me though I am, in terms of righteousness, undesirable.

We have been forever impacted by this reality and we as a family cannot sit by and just be moved with compassion. To put it in a biblical context, we cannot walk by on the other side of the road. We are embarking on a journey to adopt a couple of these undesirables. We do not know where it will lead as far as ministry opportunities down the road, but we have to act.

The blessings we have seen already have been amazing. I will have to save those for posts at another time. However, one of them thus far was a most delightful and sweet spirited woman in the UK who decided to donate her time to help us create a blog to catalog our journey and document the steps that we have and will go through to make these adoptions a reality. She is quite gifted and did a beautiful job designing the blog. Check it out… anextraleaf.blogspot.com.

Our hope in all of this is to bring honor and glory to our Savior’s name by showing the love of Christ, to raise awareness to the problems internationally and the need for adoption of disabled children internationally, to help in a foreign country that is willing to realize that they have a need of assistance – whether that be by an annual trip to help out in an orphanage or whatever, and of course to make a lifelong impact in a couple of very worthy young children’s lives.

We share this with you tonight in hope that you will support us in prayer. We have a very short window to get these children home, expecting to be completing this all in 2010. We ask for your prayers and support. We know that some will think us crazy, but I would rather have my critics while trying to do something for Christ than having no critics and accomplishing nothing.

We are excited to announce that with the Lord's help, we will be bringing Matthew and Ivanna home. We invite you to follow our adoption journey at the blog I mentioned before http://anextraleaf.blogspot.com/

Chickens

2010-06-14T23:44:00.000-07:00

We just recently became the proud new owners of ... CHICKENS! A friend helped Phillip build this coop on wheels - so we can move it in and out of garage while the chickens are still too young to be outside. After these twelve chickens grow a bit and get their feathers, we can move them outside to live. I have to say: I did NOT think that owning chickens could be so fun. It is really entertaining watching the kids love on their little chicks. These little creatures are really fun. I look forward to when they can start laying eggs! Fresh eggs are the BEST. Many thanks to our friends who allowed us to get these chickens from them and helped with the coop. We appreciate it so much!

An Extra Leaf

2010-06-02T08:10:00.000-07:00

An Extra Leaf

Amongst the fields of lush green lies something beautiful but mostly unseen
Many will walk by
Not caring for the rare treasure
Their eyes focused on the fields of great measure
But for the one who stops and looks
A special plant they do see
A tiny clover with four leaves; not the typical three
An extra measure of blessings some think
A prize
A rarity
Tucked in your pocket it may bring great prosperity
Not designed like the rest
Not better
Not worse
Just a plant with an extra leaf
Created in part; to help us with the very simple belief
That treasures are not always what we think
Sometimes they require an extra look
Almost lost in a wink
To see the gift that we may miss
That extra leaf that brings with it . . .
. . . a beautiful bliss.

Written by Charrissa Browning

I wrote this poem for a couple of very special reasons. One being that it helps to illustrate how very special a child with "an extra leaf" (chromosome) is. Yes, it is okay to celebrate Down syndrome ... there is beauty in what it offers.

These Ain't Runnin' Shoes

2010-05-25T23:40:00.000-07:00

Just the other day, Ellie and Ethan went to check the mail. Ellie decided Dad's flip flops were fitting for the mission. On their way back, Ellie decided that a cougar was fast on the track of hunting her down and making her lunch! I caught it all on camera ... and must say ... laughed the whole time. I know, I know, many would say I am sick . . . laughing while poor Ellie is afeared for her dear little life. I just thought it hilarious to see her high tail it wearing Dad's big ole' flip flops.

walking ... non-chalantly
uh ... ohhhhh ...

Ahhhhhhh .... it's a cougar ... I know it!

Sheer terror!

I'm gonna fall apart here in a second Mom ... serious!

They make you run faster! You should get a pair!

OHHHHHH MOM! It was horrible ...

Don't worry. I most dutifully put the camera down and scooped up my darling girl, reassuring her that cougars don't like the taste of Daddy flip-flops!

Praising Our Saviour

2010-05-19T08:52:00.000-07:00

I recently stumbled across a blog entitled www.allarepreciousinhissight.blogspot.com
It is a beautiful story of a little girl who was an orphan in Serbia with special needs. She also had dire need of heart surgery. You see, here in the USA there is a 200+ waiting list for adopting children with Down syndrome (ironic - given the abortion rate) but in other countries like Russia, Serbia, Ukraine, etc. these children are deemed useless. They are most often given up at birth and put in an orphanage. Orphanages are typically poor and the babies will usually go malnourished and without the proper treatments they need. Once these children reach ages four or five they are sent to a mental institution where they face much more dire situations. Eighty percent of these children die within their first year of being in what the locals call an insane asylum. Well, this family set out to do something about it. They spent the money and set their hearts to adopt Chrissie just last fall. Well, this morning - after a loooong fight in the hospital ICU she went home to be with Jesus. She is PRAISING OUR SAVIOUR AT HIS FEET!
I pray for the family's collective heart - that there would be peace. That this story would impact others to do the same - save a life. That many would look at their present surroundings and situation in life, and realize that they really have it pretty good.
This family lived out James 1:27 ~ ~ ~ and GOD will get the glory.

~ ~ Happy Birthday Justus ~ ~

2010-05-10T23:26:00.000-07:00

May 11, 2009

Justus Theodore Browning was welcomed into this world. Here are a few pictures from that day. (as well as one from me expecting him) We love you sweet baby Butter more than words can describe.

A thank you to all the friends and family who have offered prayer on behalf of Justus' health. He is now a pink and very much active little boy. Much different than that purple foot you see pictured.

I am most thankful to our Lord, and Saviour. He is the one who has allowed us the privelege to care for every one of our children. As we celebrate Justus' life thus far, we look to Christ and praise Him.

Hello, My Name is ... Mommy

2010-05-09T15:16:00.000-07:00

I often marvel at the fact that there is a day annually set aside to pay recognition to all the mothers in the world. I understand the principle behind it - wanting to make Mom feel special for doing what she does to take care of her family and her immediate surroundings. I understand it, but have to admit that I always feel a little wierd in accepting any "credit" for being a mommy when the whole reason I get to be the star that day is because of my children. The good Lord allowed me the privelege to raise my kids - to care for them day to day - nurturing, admonishing, teaching, and enjoying them. It is my husband who works so hard day to day to allow me the awesome gift of staying home to do all this. Without these two key players what would I be? I might be a great career woman, or even a world famous novelist, but I know in my heart of hearts I would feel a void. I can honestly say that there is nothing that I crave more than to one day witness my children walk in truth. There is nothing I would gladly trade for as I wipe noses, clean bottoms, or scrub a stain from a shirt. All of those mundane tasks mean that I have someone to care for, and that is MY GIFT. Sure, some days may be a little tougher than all the rest, but not worthy of complaint. I look at each of my children's faces today and think ... I am their Mommy, I am not the reason for celebration - they are. I am reminded to thank Christ for my husband and children.

~ ~ Happy Mother's Day ~ ~

Enjoy your gift of family

I LOVE This Crew

2010-05-05T08:55:00.000-07:00

The mountain top

2010-05-02T07:14:00.000-07:00

"And after six days Jesus taketh with him Peter, and James, and John, and leadeth them up into a high mountain apart by themselves: and he was transfigured before them." ~ Mark 9:2

We have all had times on the mount, when we have seen things from God's standpoint and have wanted to stay there; but God will never allow us to stay there. The test of our spiritual life is the power to descend; if we have power to rise only, something is wrong. It is a great thing to be on the mount with God, but a man only gets there in order that afterwards he may get down among the devil-possessed and lift them up. We are not built for the mountains and the dawns and aesthetic affinities, those are for moments of inspiration, that is all. We are built for the valley, for the ordinary stuff we are in, and that is where we have to prove our mettle. Spiritual selfishness always wants repeated moments on the mount. We feel we could talk like angels and live like angels, if only we could stay on the mount. The times of exaltation are exceptional, they have their meaning in our life with God, but we must beware lest our spiritual selfishness wants to make them the only time.

We are apt to think that everything that happens is to be turned into useful teaching, it is to be turned into something better than teaching, viz., into character. The mount is not meant to teach us anything, it is meant to make us something. There is a great snare in asking - What is the use of it? In spiritual matters we can never calculate on that line. The moments on the mountain tops are rare moments, and they are meant for something in God's purpose.

~ Oswald Chambers ~

The above excerpt from Oswald Chamber's "My Utmost for His highest", made such a huge impression on me when I first read this entry in 2003. The thought has always stuck with me. It is not of our Lord to continually think that we are to live upon the mountain, but in turn to take that inspiration - that absolute joy from being there and share with those who also are in need to ascend. We may never know the purpose of what God has allowed us to experience, but God knows ... and that is all that is important.

Loved this entry. Just had to share.

Reflection

2010-04-26T22:38:00.000-07:00

Have you ever just sat and listened to the silence? Well, to be quite honest - that doesn't happen very often here in the Browning household, and I am just fine with that. However, when it does - I have great opportunity for reflection. It's good to look back and utter thanks for what has transpired. It is good to give thanks for how Christ chooses to mold and shape you.

Well, it's quiet right now ... and I am left to my reflections.

I chose this picture to post because it encapsulates how I view my husband. Here, he is tenderly brushing the hair from my face as the wind whips around us. That is how life has been. He has tenderly cared for me and the children as "life" whips around us.

I love this man.

I think how sweetly my Saviour has cared for me ... right down to the most intimate of thoughts and feelings.

I also think of all my children. How I love them and desire the best for them, knowing that the best is God's will for their life. I think of my sons - and how proud I am of their accomplishments.

I think of my daughters and how it blesses my heart to see the nurturing qualities that comes with their character.

I think to the future and smile. Yes, I smile.

My life, while far from perfect - or maybe even far from desirable by some standards, is just right for me.

A little bit of chaos mixed in with a whole lot of love.

(and I even get a quiet evening here and there for a rambling reflection)

Thank you Jesus.

A Favorite Verse

2010-04-24T10:56:00.000-07:00

James 1:27 (KJV)

"Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world."

This really is a beautiful verse to reflect on. Love it.

Recent Pictures

2010-04-22T21:47:00.000-07:00

Updates

2010-04-07T17:13:00.000-07:00

Our little Justus is getting so big and accomplishing so much. Just a quick update. He is now sitting unassisted for quite a long time, playing with toys in his basket. He is also starting to eat many foods; sweet potatoes, yogurt, applesauce, baby cereal, etc.

Each little milestone reached makes my heart sing. "Slow and steady wins the race"
He'll "get there" in his own timing and as God allows. We praise God for our little Butter boy.

Hello Everyone

2010-03-24T21:54:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone! Just a few pictures. I will update later as I have time. For now, enjoy.

Meet my 'GQ' son, Gabriel

The Castle park in YUMA

Hoover Dam new construction

Sunset at San Diego

click on this picture and read bottom of sign carefully - so funny

Beautiful, sweaty, snotty Chloe

The gang (minus three) in San Diego

April and Butter

Can't get enough beach shots (San Diego)

All giggles and a missing tooth

Miss Ellie

ET and his smiling eyes

Just catching lizards...no big

Yeah ... so hot in this area that there are warning signs.

An electrical ball of excitement!

2009 ~ Sealed With a Kiss ~

2009-12-31T14:36:00.000-08:00

~ Sealed With a Kiss ~

Some would say our family has endured much this year. However; Christ has been both our Refuge and our Rock throughout. He has manifested Himself in ways we, at times, find difficult to put into words. He has allowed us to experience great tribulation as well as great joy! The year started with Phillip travelling every week for nearly four months. The weekly goodbyes were difficult. God saw fit to end that and allow a new job in Seattle. Then my best friend experienced a mini-stroke and Christ reminded me just how dear my husband truly is. A month later, we welcomed our sweet Justus in the world. He was born with Down syndrome and a heart condition. We count it such honor and joy to have this special boy within our family. The months passed and we had the opportunity to say one last goodbye to Grandma Bender before she passed in August. My children listened around her hospital bed as their grandfather told old family tales, a blessing in the face of loss. We will see her once again: for she was a believer. August also brought with it a need for me to have gallbladder surgery. I was thankful to say goodbye to the gallbladder attacks. September was the month that our sweet Justus had open heart surgery. That brought our family closer together in ways that cannot be expressed. There is nothing like facing the possible loss of a baby that will drive you and your loved ones to your knees in prayer. After nine days in the CICU, "Butter" as Justus has come to be known - was able to go home with a heart that could now allow him to thrive. The Lord worked in a mighty way in many peoples' lives through this time. Justus has truly been a vehicle for the Lord's blessings in so many ways and he is not yet eight months old. This year is coming to an end and yet is the beginning in so many ways. We are truly thankful for His provision, leading, and care for our family's health needs.

May we not forget the lessons learned this year.

Thank you Jesus for all you have wrought.

Happy Anniversary to Us!!

2009-12-16T09:14:00.001-08:00

Today is our fourteenth anniversary! Just seems like yesterday that I said "I do". What an adventure we have been on thus far. I am so thankful that Christ saw fit to bring us together. We are best friends and so much more. I love you Phillip with all that I have, forever more...

Our Baby is Seven Months Old Today

2009-12-11T09:30:00.000-08:00

Family Pictures 2009

2009-11-24T00:02:00.000-08:00

Our friend, Jenny, came over to our home on Sunday afternoon and was able to capture some beautiful images of our family. We love her work. She always makes us look so good! :) Thank you Jenny for your time and care! We love them!

Us

2009-11-18T08:31:00.000-08:00

Well, we are all doing great. We are finding our way back to a schedule and are enjoying getting back into the swing of things. I almost forgot how much of a blessing it is to be in the midst of fellowshipping, etc.
Phillip is busy with work, boys have been doing terrific in school with various projects and presentations while they work hard on scripture memorization. Their scripture memorization puts mine to shame; as they have full chapters memorized. Isaac is currently working on what's called "Adopt a Tree" project in which he picks a tree and does a full blown presentation on it. So FUN!!!! Remember those when you were in school? Gabe has received nothing less than 100% on all his tests/quizzes. Smarty pants. Ethan is a whiz at reading and his cursive is just beautiful! Chloe is talking better every week and is currently toying around with potty training. Ellie - well, she is just a sweet little mama to Justus and kisses him often. Justus is doing great! He isn't sitting on his own yet - but we'll get there. He starts physical therapy next month.

With that said, let me share a poem Isaac wrote yesterday in school: (I was impressed as this is his very own creation)

The Green Beret

Make way! Make way!

For the Green Beret!

They're marching today

In the green array.

Stand strong! Stand strong!

No wrong! No wrong!

Is the leader's song

As they're marching along.

For when you fight

In enemy sight.

You must be bright

and quick as a light.

Make way! Make way!

For the Green Beret!

They're marching today

In the green array.

-Isaac Browning, age 11

Our Trip to Yuma

2009-11-10T09:38:00.000-08:00

Taz playing in the "sponge - pit"

At the ladies retreat. What a blast we had!

Some wild and crazy ladies of Faith Baptist Church!

Hmmm... you think he's having a good time?

Whoah! What a face, Chloe! We were at a place called "Jump Up"

Gabriel - swimming.

Isaac - swimming.

Welcoming home some soldiers... what an honor that was... and ... HOT!!!

soldiers

A very sweet lady of Faith Baptist who prays for our son ... and she didn't even know us. She was happy to have met the little one she had been praying for.

:) I love this pic. April holding my sweet Butter.

Men - with babies...

Proud as peacocks! These men deserve our thanks!

This is how close to Mexico the city of Yuma is: see the border fence? SO COOL!

This above pic is hilarious! When driving to Yuma we saw this pretty looking lake thing. We drive to go see it and NO ONE was there except some crazy fisherman. Well, we stepped out and literally lost our breath. It was soooo HUMID, and SMELLED! I guess this "SALTON SEA" is so polluted that fish just die and wash up on shore. Click on image and you will see Isaac's funny face. We all were finally begging Phillip to get back in car!! Too much heat, stink and flies. DISGUSTO!!!

Okay... I'm playing catch up. Here are a spattering of images that we took on our trip to Yuma, Arizona. We went and visited some good friends - The Goetsch family that have just recently moved there themselves. Pastor Goetsch is doing a fantastic job as the new Pastor of Faith Baptist Church in Yuma. While there we got to go swimming, meander through the town, see soldiers fly in from being deployed, enjoy wonderful fellowship and just have a great time all around. I was also able to go to a ladies retreat with some of them. We went to Palm Springs and heard some wonderful messages as well as enjoy April's playing the piano. It was a fun trip. One that I won't forget and look back on and smile everytime. Enjoy these pics. There are ALOT more on our Facebook account.

See Ya Later

2009-10-29T21:07:00.000-07:00

Yup... that's what I heard today. Justus had a cardiology appointment today. While I knew it would probably be a good report, nothing prepared me for hearing that he was doing so well that we would not need to be back for another six months! I was so astonished. I started to cry. I could not believe that just shy of six weeks ago we had a very sick little boy on our hands, and now... well he is doing great! He is 95% on the Down Syndrome growth chart. (Yes, they have a seperate growth chart for DS) He also has gained nearly 2 pounds in one month! Can you believe it? Wow! Get this: She also stated that many children who need cardiac surgeries right now can't get them because the ICU's in the area are overloaded with Swine Flu - so there is no room. So God not only had the surgery itself in His hands but also the timing of the surgery was all taken care of. I am so thankful. I feel as if a ton of bricks has been lifted from my shoulders. I can't say it enough: Thank you Lord . . . thank you . . . thank you . . . thank you . . .

Some Hospital Pictures

2009-10-19T22:53:00.000-07:00

after surgery

Pastor Houston holding Butter prior to surgery. He was at the hospital before us at 6am!
Butter's chest prior to surgery. No scar . . . but now he has a cool scar to brag about!

On his way to Ronald McDonald House the day prior to surgery.

Daddy and Justus on pre-op day!

*I always forget that Blogger uploads images backwards*

Anyhow, here are some pictures that I thought I would share from being in the hospital. Justus, (aka: Butter) is doing great. Everyday brings with it a brighter smile and a step towards our "normal" routine. He has been a little out of his norm when it comes to sleeping: sleeps for 20 min. to an hour and then awakes, but I think that will go away with time.

I LOVE - LOVE - LOVE being home! My three older boys are doing great in school. The girls are being wonderful helps in making messes, and Butter continues to happily nurse as all the controlled chaos unleashes around him. Awwwweeeee .... lovin' it!

Home... Sweet Home

2009-10-01T20:44:00.000-07:00

Yes, we are home. This posting comes late due to some issues with our wireless router - so I apologize for that. We were discharged on Saturday and decided to spend the night at the Ronald McDonald house to just be sure everything was okay. We liked that we were right next to the hospital just in case "Butter" took another unexpected turn. Justus aka; Butter, was really cranky all day on Saturday - he also had an allergic reaction to some meds. they gave him for pain. We got to the RM house and were able to finally get him settled. He then slept solidly all night and only woke to nurse and fall back asleep! My heart sang! Nothing like watching your sweet infant who has endured so much sleep peacefully next to you. I was relieved.

For now - I will keep it short and just say we are home. Justus is still trying to settle into being back to himself. We take great care in the way we hold him - b/c his sternum is still healing. He goes and sees the cardiologist tomorrow and then the pediatrician next week. We also have to keep all illness away the best we can. But all in all... he is home - and that is AWESOME!!!!

We praise Christ for it all!

Soon I hope to write more of how this all has shaped our family and refined our faith. You cannot walk the halls of Children's Hospital and keep your faith and the hope it offers to yourself. You just can't. If you can ... I would question your faith or at least your desire to be used of God. I hope that I never forget. I hope to never go through anything like that again, but can be thankful for what it has wrought in my heart. Watching children fight for their life and the parents who love them so fervently strikes a deep desire to offer hope and peace. I am happy to be home - but still see the faces of some who are still there, and find myself of heavy heart praying ... praying ... praying.

Another Road Bump

2009-09-25T10:24:00.000-07:00

Justus will not be coming home today. He is now dehydrated and is not wanting to eat. There is blood in his stool and a high potassium level in his body. If he doesn't eat another feeding tube will be placed. Please pray for him to eat and for him to become hydrated. Thank you.

Coming Home

2009-09-24T15:23:00.000-07:00

Yes, you read it correctly!!!! We have been okayed for discharge tomorrow. Praise the Lord! We will stay at the Ronald McDonald house through Friday night and be home Saturday! So thankful, happy, relieved, etc. etc.
One happy mama here! Thank you for all your prayer!

A Full Day

2009-09-23T23:21:00.000-07:00

Today was a busy day. Justus has had a great day. He got alot of lines removed and drugs stopped. That is excellent news. He is now clear to move to acute care. We are just awaiting a bed. It is a busy time on the floor right now. So now Justus continues to try and re-learn how to nurse. We are having a difficult time. We will get through it. He is also having to rid his fluid level - he has more fluid in his lungs. This is a bit normal after open heart surgery. We just don't want it to continue to build or else it may cause problems. Overall - Justus is doing great! Thank you to all who have prayed for our son!

I have also gotten to know a young lady named Alecs who has a five week old boy named David who is in the CICU battling for his little life. He is critically ill awaiting a heart transplant. This morning he almost passed. They were very close to putting him back on life support. If they put him on life support he gets his name removed from the list awaiting a heart. His oxygen saturation levels were in the 30% range all night last night. I prayed with his mother and when we re-entered his room we could see on the monitor his levels were rising. Praise be to God! That said - he desperately needs a miracle. His father is in Istanbul pastoring and cannot re-enter the states. His mom is here at the hospital and only has her mother and father here in town. If you think of them could you please pray for peace and perhaps a miracle for David? Thank you.
I know God's hand has been in all of this. I know this is one of the reasons why our son, Justus, had such a difficult time on Sunday. It may have been a setback for Justus - but it was God's providence that allowed us to meet and pray with Alecs while in the waiting room during my son's fight to recover from fever. I KNOW that is why this all happened. She knows it too. She refers to Phillip and I as family to the other nurses and staff. She is thankful to our Lord for the support from our Pastor as well. Think of it moms... if you were watching your infant son struggling for life and all the while standing by his bedside alone! I am honored that Christ has allowed me to come alongside her and hold her hand. Her family is precious to us. Sunday night I wept and asked God why my son was going through so much - He didn't have to give me an explanation or show me why - but He has. Alecs met Justus today. She held his hand and said thank you. She said to my little "Butter" that if he had not been there she would not have gotten to know all of us (Phillip, myself and Pastor). This is all to God's glory. Not of myself, nor anyone else. This is just how Christ works. To offer her encouragement when she needs it most. He truly never forsakes....
Thank you for your prayer on behalf of David, Alecs, Caden, and Justus.

Off the Ventilator

2009-09-22T17:06:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update: Justus is off the ventilator!!!! :-)
Daddy is currently holding him. His blood gas looks great! Fever staying down with Tylenol. He is still on feeding tube. His chest tubes are out! Praying that this continues to be the trend. Thank you for all your prayer! We are so very thankful! Can't wait till little "Butter" is all better.

Justus Update

2009-09-22T10:40:00.001-07:00

Justus is being prepared for coming off the ventilator. This is a long process that involves turning off his morphine and stopping his feedings via feeding tube. Please pray that this process goes successfully. Also - his core temp. is a little higher this morning than last night or yesterday. Please pray against fever. Thank you. We will update later today if ventilator removal went through or not.
Also - yesterday we had the opportunity to meet a sweet little boy named Caden who has Down Syndrome and is fighting Leukemia. He is two years old. Precious. He and his mom are here from Alaska and are separated from their family due to costs of airline tickets. We immediately felt a bond with them. I would ask that you pray for sweet Caden. He is absolutely beautiful. You can see pictures of him on my Facebook wall. We sat and prayed with him and his mom for healing.
I am thankful that through our storm - God allows us to feel encouragement by loving and getting to know others as they face their own storms. May Christ receive all glory.

Our boy...

2009-09-21T08:55:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update. I sit at the Ronald McDonald house after a difficult night. What a blessing the house has been - a refuge. I am on my way to go and make the short walk to the hospital. Phillip thought it would be good if I got some sleep last night. Justus had another difficult day yesterday (actually not till evening). He had been doing well after second surgery corrected the unravelled stitches in the sternum. Then around 5pm or so - I walked in his room after visiting with my other kiddos and noticed that he was having a very difficult time breathing. His eyes were rolled back in his head and his feet and hands were blue. He spiked a fever and reached a heartbeat of 200 b/m. A team was called in to try and cool him off with ice (horrible to watch). Then that didn't work and they decided to put him back on ventilator, in hopes to allow him to rest.

Please, please - pray.

My heart is aching for Justus. I so desire that he gets better. I know Christ has a plan - even through all of this. That is what I grasp onto. I am sorry if this is to transparent. I truly have nothing left within myself, but... to pray. To grasp onto the FACT that Christ is in control - even when the doctors are unsure.

May Christ receive all glory that may come from this.

During the time they were re-intubating Justus - we prayed fervently in the waiting area. There were a group of Russian women next to us. When we were praying - I noticed they were quiet. We said our "amens" and lifted our eyes to see them as they had been praying alongside us for my son. How humbling. We spoke and discovered that these ladies were there from a Ukraine church to help comfort a lady named Alex. Alex has a five week old son who underwent open heart surgery two weeks ago. He needs a heart transplant - and is waiting. Alex and I hugged. We all fell to our knees and wept as we all prayed for David - her son. Alex's husband is a missionary and is unable to get back into the states. If you think of it, please pray for her and David - as well as the husband. How difficult that must be.

Thank you for all of your prayer. As in the words of my friend, Katie, after her daughter experienced some complication after her surgery:

"It seems God wants to keep us on our knees a bit longer."

The Heart of Justus...

2009-09-20T11:29:00.000-07:00

Our sweet little four month old Justus underwent open heart surgery last Thursday to correct a condition known as TOF. The surgery went well and by Friday morning Justus was on target for coming off the ventilator while in the CICU (cardiac ICU) in Seattle. In order to come off the ventilator the staff cuts all pain meds. to see if child can breathe on his own (sounds barbaric - given that he had just had his little chest open the day prior). They turned off his morphine and was allowed to wake on his own. As the day progressed I noticed that he was in a considerable amount of pain. My stomach was in knots. His little chest also started to make horrible clicking sounds... and they continued to get louder as the day moved on. Later that night you could not only hear the clicking, but feel his bone moving in his chest when he breathed - as if the sternum was apart and rubbing against itself. He spiked a fever that night at midnight. I - was scared. There was absolutely nothing I could do as I watched. I continually cried out to God to fix this, that is all I could do, just ask Christ to intervene. . . He did.
That next morning the surgeons performed their rounds. Upon discovery of Justus - the surgeon immediately scheduled him for another surgery. My husband's suspicions were right. Justus' sternum had separated and was rubbing upon itself. I broke down in tears. It was hard the first time letting him go, and it did not become easier. There was also a fear of infection, which could translate to bad. Justus was readied for the surgery, and our friends and family were called - my husband asked all to pray.
During all this... dare I say ... I asked why? Why did God allow such a thing to occur? Why? I could not understand. Was it somehow my fault? Was Justus not ready for surgery and we were just pushy? Why would this happen to him? Why all the pain for my sweet little baby?
The answer would come...
Justus came out of the second surgery and was doing great. He even looked better. His little countenance was not grimacing any longer. I felt a huge amount of relief seeing that he was feeling better. Then family visited and I got to see and hold and kiss on all of my sweet little children. Ohhhh... how I miss them. It was then that I got the answer to my question that I had been repeating within my heart all through the night... my husband wrote of it on Facebook and so I just copied it to here:

"Why Lord? We often wonder why things happen in our lives. Charrissa and I have certainly been challenged with that as of late. Today we had family and Pastor visiting us at the hospital. After they left the nurse (Eileen) was speaking with my wife... about how wonderful it was to see such love and support from our family and friends. She commented on our children.This conversation lead to a discussion where my wife was able to share the gospel of Christ to our fantastic nurse. She was so very interested in our story and our story IS our Saviour. Oh how the love of Christ manifested is such a testimony to others. (John 13:35). Funny thing is,she was only seeing the tip of the iceberg for she could not see the hundreds of people that have been coming boldly to the throne of grace on our behalf and seeking God's face for our little one. We are so thankful for the love of Christ manifested!As the conversation continued with Eileen, they happened to be speaking about the providence of God, sharing stories of how God's hand has been on our son and the many stories of how we see Him at work. During this conversation, they began talking about the many extra bottles of milk that we had a heart to donate or give to someone who was in need.As the nurse was researching, online, a place to give the milk another nurse came in, to which Eileen asked if she knew of a good place to donate the milk. The nurse broke down in tears and stated how there was another nurse who is adopting a child and is looking for milk to feed her new little one. When it was agreed the extra would go to the other nurse in need, the nurse said to my wife and Eileen, "This is nothing short of the providence of God."
I would be shorting the story if I did not tell you that the nurse who was weeping and speaking of the providence of God was a nurse that we had a VERY difficult time with during the season of battle that we were having last night. How gracious of our Lord to allow us an opportunity to love on her and encourage her."

This has been a roller coaster of a ride for our family. However, that being said - I could not imagine the ride without Christ being at the controls. That He would allow us to be apart of bringing glory to His name in sharing the gospel to one soul - is simply humbling. I can honestly say that my heart is comforted to know that although Justus is still "recovering" there is already a victory. A seed has been planted. . . I pray it would find roots and grow.

To those who have been in prayer: I, nor my family, can thank you enough. It is the most humbling thing to have people pray for you and encourage you. Our sweet baby is such a gift. He has been used of God to teach many lessons - and yet only four months old.

I will continue to update as I have time. Justus is doing well. He continues to battle fever here and there. We are praying that he does not have an underlying infection. We will get the cultures back on Monday or Tuesday. If you think of it, could you please pray against infection as well? Thank you so much!

Justus

2009-09-03T09:48:00.001-07:00

Just a quick update. (I am better about posting updates via Facebook - just easier and quicker)
Justus is scheduled for open heart surgery September 17th at Seattle Children's Hospital. He has a full day of pre-ops the day prior. Very mixed feelings here. Hopeful and excited to have this behind us and no longer over our heads - BUT .... this is my sweet little baby facing such a BIG surgery and that makes me weep. Being very honest here. Then my Lord reminds me through scripture (esp. Psalms) that Justus is in His hands. That is a comfort. I love my son - fervently. I am so thankful for his little life being entrusted to Phillip and I, as I am all of my children.
Updates may be spotty - but I will try. Thank you in advance for your prayer - and support.

Remembering Grams

2009-08-25T08:08:00.000-07:00

My dear, sweet grandmother (Frieda Bender) passed away and went to be with our Lord and Saviour on Saturday, August 22nd 2009. She was a woman of which I look to with great admiration. A very hard and industrious worker, she helped run a local gas station that my grandfather owned. She took joy in cooking wonderful meals for her family. I especially remember the pineapple rice salad (white rice, whipped cream and pineapple) as well as her chocolate meringue pie. Grandma was one who loved life. She drove right up until her stroke made it impossible. She was 89 years old! I love her. I love how she lived, and how she was so beautiful at the time of her death. Her mind was still so sharp at the time she passed. These pictures were taken just two weeks prior to her death. She knew who all her great grandchildren were by name. Both her life and the process of her death were very inspiring. I know my children will not forget their great-grandmother. I know they will remember how the physicians spoke early on of letting her die by not feeding her - yet the Lord allowed a much easier transition into eternity, much more dignified. I know that speaks volumes to my family. God, by allowing her to live one month past her stroke - allowed my relationship with my father to be restored, allowed my grandmother to hold the hands of her little great grandkids running around her room, and allowed me to witness how - when we trust Christ - He truly cares for His own, even upon taking you home. He did not forsake my grandmother at the time she most needed Him. I am so very thankful for that.

We will be travelling back this week for the service and to remember her with other family members and friends.

Psalm 30:5b "....weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."

Lately

2009-08-16T09:56:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note to let you all know what we have been up to and how we have been. This last week was ... crazy! Monday Justus had a cardiology appointment. Wednesday brought a yearly eye exam for Isaac and dental exams for five of our kiddos with it, and then Thursday was a surgery for me. Hectic.

Justus is doing great. His saturation levels (oxygen) were in the 90's. Which is outstanding. His EKG was great. His echo cardiogram went well also. There was a bit of a change in the pressure gradient regarding his lungs. This is an indicator that his lungs are working a bit harder. This is to be expected with children who have Down Syndrome. They typically are sick more often - creating an opportunity for the lungs to develop pulmonary disease which creates a stiffening of the lungs. This is why the specialists recommend having the open heart surgery prior to the child's first birthday - trying to beat that. The change in pressure gradient paired with Justus having had two minor blue baby spells equates to his little body telling us it is time for surgery. The cardiologist is suggesting late September or early October for the surgery. Wow! It's already upon us! We are praying for Justus to not be sick during this time. If he is sick at the time of surgery they will cancel and postpone for six weeks. I am not "looking forward" to the surgery - but am anxious to get done and out of the way. Make sense? We have decided to go with Seattle Children's Hospital for various reasons. Please - I ask on behalf of my sweet baby boy - if you think of him, please pray for the surgery to take place without illness delaying it, please pray for the surgeons to have steady hands and wisdom; and please pray for a smooth and swift recovery.

Isaac's eye appointment went well. There are no changes in his retina from last time. (a small spot was noticed behind his eye - but does not seem to be affecting his sight) We praise the Lord for this wonderful news. He is not "out of the woods" yet. The doctor is wanting these yearly exams to take place until he is out of his teenage years. For those of you who do not know - they are continually checking for Stargardt's Disease. He may or may not have it. Several years ago at a regular eye exam the doc. noticed pigment spots in his retina - thus the yearly exams now. Phillip and I have peace and know that with everything else: the Lord has this in His control as well.

Kids did great at the dentist - which by the way - is the coolest dentist's office EVER for kids. It's like Disneyland - for teeth!

My surgery went well also. I am healing nicely - just a little sore. I had my gallbladder removed on Thursday due to some horrible attacks from a stone that had lodged and blocked a duct. I am thankful that it went well and I am on the road to recovery. My hubby took AWESOME care of me.

Crazy. Yes. However, I am confident that the Lord has designed these things to take place right now for many reasons I won't get into. I love my Lord for allowing these trials and I will praise Him for them. Sound weird? Maybe so, but I can only trust in Him. I can have peace - or fret. I can find joy - or stress. I have gone back and forth, but have found refuge in my Saviour.

Love you all - and I am so thankful for your prayer and support!

Browning Bootcamp

2009-08-07T07:05:00.000-07:00

This was Ethan when he was a baby. Yeah... we start training them early in physical fitness.

Justus Cooing

2009-08-05T08:44:00.000-07:00

Sorry this is sideways. I am not computer savvy. Justus is now cooing and melting my heart in the process. He is doing great. I stand amazed at how my Lord just knew I NEEDED this sweet little boy in my life.

He has a cardiology appointment on Monday. We are praying for great, outstanding reports. (maybe even a miraculous healing of his little heart)

He starts physical therapy soon. He scores like a four month old in everything except gross motor skills - this is really impressive.

Enjoy.

How About Some Gum?

2009-07-26T15:52:00.000-07:00

Chloe has this thing about rifling through my diaper bag and sneaking any goodies she can find.

Well, she found some gum and helped herself. I thought she was being good. Well, this is what you get when you have a quiet one year old! Not only did she find the gum she ate TEN pieces! I found her and immediately couldn't speak. I just froze and could not believe what I was seeing! My whole entryway smelled like orange blast! So, I decided to take some pics. The picture of her smiling is in response to me finally letting out a giggle. Ohhhhh..... Chloe!

Family Updates

2009-07-20T12:21:00.000-07:00

Just a real quick update on the happenings within our family. We have had several inquiries about both Justus and my grandmother's health. Justus is doing great. He seems to keep battling congestion, but we are told this is to be expected. Due to him having Down Syndrome he is more susceptible to colds and infections. I usually find myself having to suction out his nose in the mornings using a nasal aspirator and saline solution. His cough is clearing up. He continues to gain weight. He had his eight week checkup a little while ago and I was delighted to see that he had made all of his milestones thus far. He is smiling, cooing, watching you as you move your face, turning to the sound of your voice, and even laughs once in awhile during his sleep. This has been so enjoyable for me to see him doing so well, despite his DS and TOF (Tetralogy of Fallot). God is so good to teach us of the "non - differences" in the face of "differences". (if that makes sense!) One thing I have run into is that Justus is getting so good at nursing now that he totally dislikes the bottle. I am thankful he is such a good nurser, but am finding that I may have to work with him to be able to do both. I want him to be prepared for bottle feedings during his hospital stay. I find this ironic, since DS babies are expected to be very good at nursing. Our family is learning to not place those expectations that hold low standards on our sweet Justus.

My grandmother is also doing great! We praise the Lord for this. She is eating on her own and is currently learning how to wield her own spoon! Albeit, she eats very little. I am so thankful that she continues to show improvement. We just had the opportunity to visit her again and we were able to have full conversations with her! We looked through old photos and laughed at some funny memories. It was great to spend time with my father as well. Pictures follow soon.

Life continues to go along at a bit of a rabbit's pace, but our God is good to us and allows us the tools and ability to keep up. Only in His strength. Everyone is enjoying these warm summer days. The kids are having a blast racing their bikes through the neighborhood. We continue to have all the kids (minus Chloe and Justus) in swimming lessons. They LOVE it! The boys will start soccer next month. We always look forward to our Saturday morning games as a family (and of course the coffee runs prior to the games). Phillip is doing a wonderful job as an employee for King County. He has been riding his bike to work, which is a bit better on our wallets and helps with some exercise. I have been busy with various things: making hair pretties for friends, nursing Justus, organizing closets, nursing Justus, teaching Chloe her numbers, nursing Justus, gardening, nursing Justus, helping to run this crazy household and of course - nursing Justus. As you can read - nursing Justus is a full time job. He is an industrious little eater. That's alright with me - as one of my most fervent desires and prayers while he was in the NICU was that I could just hold my baby and nurse him. Boy, has God answered that one!!! (little giggle)
Our family is busy, no doubt. But.... we enjoy one another so much that it is just a joy to have such a large and boisterous crew. We look forward to what God continues to do within our home.

Forty - Two Pounds O' Fun

2009-07-15T21:40:00.000-07:00

As you know, we were in Easter Washington during the fourth of July visiting both my Grandmother and Father. My prior post describes how we went to make a surprise visit and ended up being there the day my Grandmother had a pretty significant stroke. Well, after going to the hospital on the fourth, we decided to take the kids cherry picking. We drove around looking for U-Pick signs for cherries. We found a farm in Naches. As soon as we got out of our car, We thought - "What were we thinking?" It was soooo hot outside, 100 degrees. There was a little shade, but not enough. The farmer and his wife were so gracious and kind. They gave us ice cold bottled waters and attached our buckets and sent us on our way! I have to say, it was a blast! We had a great time picking... and eating... a whole lotta cherries. Both Ellie and Chloe were adorable. They ate more cherries than they picked and put in their baskets. The farmer had a little pump house next to the trees that was ice cold inside. Phillip and I took turns sitting in there with Justus cooling off. What do you get when you and five kiddos are picking cherries? Forty two pounds of sweetness! Yes... FORTY TWO POUNDS of cherries! Needless to say our freezer is full of pitted cherries ready for pies. By the way... you see in the pics. that we got two different types of cherries: Lapin and Rainier - both are so delicious.

A Providential Visit

2009-07-07T09:23:00.000-07:00

My sweet husband approached me a couple of weeks ago about taking time during the fourth of July weekend to go and visit my Grandmother and Father who live in Eastern Washington. This meant alot to me for two reasons: 1) usually we go to his sister's home and have a delightful time - this has become a routine every fourth. 2) My Grandmother and Father have never met Chloe or Justus. This visit was one I looked forward to with anticipation of warm weather and sharing memories with Grandma. I also LOVE seeing my children near their Great-Grandmother. Just something about that visual picture that I don't think I will easily forget. Well, we decided we would just show up into town, get a room and surprise both of them. We arrived Friday evening and spent some time driving around town and enjoying some early fireworks while sitting at a Sonics for the first time! The weather was also so beautiful and HOT! It was 100 degrees while we were there - and I LOVED IT! (I grew up in Eastern Washington and have fond memories of being outdoors in the heat) That next morning we received a call from my Dad saying Grandma had a severe stroke that morning. We went to the hospital and my Dad started to cry stating he was so happy we were there. We could see that Grandma's left side was unable to move and that she was pretty feeble. She was in and out of consciousness. The on-call doctor came in the room and asked Grandma if she could hear him, she answered "yes". I was thrilled! This meant she could not only hear, but respond. He backed up a couple of feet after his questions to her and started to discuss "options" with my Dad. She had not yet shown signs of swallowing, so he told Dad that if she didn't that he would have to decide on whether or not to put a feeding tube in. I thought, WAIT - whether or not???!!!???? To deny someone of eating used to be called starving someone, but I guess if that person happens to be old and unable to entirely care for themselves it is now called humane death???!!!??? Didn't this doctor just get my Grandmother to respond to him? Now he was discussing options of death only two feet from her bedside?

Despicable.

Dad and I had a very brief discussion that hour after the doctor left the room and I said that I would always be a proponent of life. I left it at that, realizing Dad was overwhelmed with emotion. I noted in my mind that this was a priority of prayer. So did my husband.

That next morning I received a phone call stating that Grandma wanted to talk to me. She heard my voice on the phone and even responded to my questions!! I was so super excited to go and see her. Phillip and I just teared up thanking our God all the while. We got to the hospital and guess what.... she was swallowing water, just a bit - BUT - she was showing improvement! She was able to see all of her great-grandchildren and talk a little with some of them. One very tender moment occurred when she held Justus' hand - my throat felt tight with emotion as I put my own hand and covered them both and gave a gentle squeeze. Justus is named after my Grandfather - how fitting that she held onto his hand so tightly.

The same doctor came in and was yet again talking the same talk. I could not believe it! After he left my father and I had a candid conversation. I will just say that I think our visit helped him to be encouraged in the right way, however; I covet your prayers for my Grandmother. I am hoping that Phillip and I can be used of God in this situation to help sustain my Grandmother's life. Life, young or old, is precious and is only for the Lord to decide when it should pass. I am so very thankful that the Lord put on Phillip's heart to make a long overdue visit at such a time as this...

I praise the Lord that he has placed so many things in our life as of late that would prepare us for this... that would help us understand how precious life is, even when others in the world may not value it..

Sweet Little Justus

2009-06-29T12:26:00.000-07:00

Just some updated pictures of our Little Man. He is six weeks old and growing ... growing ... growing...

It is so sweet to watch him sleep in my arms. He smiles as he snoozes and I wonder what he must be thinking. He is very alert and loves to listen to his Daddy sing silly songs. He nurses better and better as each week progresses. He is a whopping 9 lbs. 10 oz. and ever growing. He continues to have little bouts of congestion, but we are told this is to be expected. His little heart is doing good, and he has not had any "blue baby" spells. (BIG YAY!!!)

Our Lord is so good to answer even the tiniest of prayer ... of which continues to assure me that our family is serving an ever present God.

My husband is being so thoughtful and kind to see that I get some rest - as the last several weeks have been a bit exhausting. I feel much better thanks to him.

I always feel compelled to illustrate my deepest desire when I make a post:

That is how truly thankful I am to Christ. He has comforted me in ways I could never convey to anyone else, because only He knows my thoughts, my heart and the things I struggle with. It is daily that I have experienced His provision in some intimate way. This is where my hope resides in everything: Justus' health, our family's needs, my children's salvation, etc. I cannot express all that Jesus does and provides for us. The fears that can often grip my spirit fade away as I hand them off to Christ in trade with the peace that He offers.

There I said it... and I hope it makes sense! :-)

Our Home

2009-06-17T14:12:00.000-07:00

Everything is going well in our home. School is winding down. Chloe and Ellie are taking their roles as "Mama's helpers" to a new level. Phillip is enjoying his job. I am enjoying getting back into the swing of things. Justus is doing well. He is getting over his little cold and just seems a bit congested in the mornings and evenings. He is gaining weight and is even starting to outgrow some outfits. I am thankful for all the prayer on his behalf. I know God hears them and is answering. I am having a bit of an issue with what I think may be an ulcer. Every once in awhile I experience some horrible upper abdominal pain. I may need to go to the doctor to really get down to the bottom of it. I really don't enjoy going to the doctor's office. It will be interesting, nonetheless, to see what is going on with me.

I will continue to update all with our life's "goings ons." Have a beautiful day!

Justus Update

2009-06-11T17:23:00.000-07:00

Justus had a cardiology appointment today. He had an EKG done as well as weight check and oxygen saturation levels checked. . . and everything looked great! What does that all mean? Well, an EKG measures the electrical output of your heart. This indicates how hard the heart is working which can also indicate if the heart may be getting bigger due to too much work. The heart is a muscle and the harder it works the bigger it may get - which is not good. Justus' heart is a little bigger on the right side, due to his heart defect. The doctors are looking for a rise in electrical output to indicate if it is getting larger - but today the EKG measured the same as last time - so that is GREAT! The weight check is an indicator at how Justus is thriving. If there isn't a significant weight gain then there may be a problem - but Justus weighed in at 9lbs 1oz. which is AWESOME! The oxygen saturation levels tells the doctors how rich in oxygen his blood is - 100 is the number most would come back with. Justus had a range set in the NICU for 75 - 90% due to his heart condition which allows some de-oxygenated blood to travel through his body, which in turn drops his sat. levels. If his sat. levels would show a big drop at a visit it would be a sign that his heart is working too hard to deliver oxygen to his organs. . . but. . . his levels were 94% today - which is TERRIFIC! He didn't have an echo cardiogram today, but will at his next visit - which just shows the docs. a picture of his heart and how the valves are holding up.

Justus had an excellent report today and can wait a whole month until his next cardiology appt. He is expected to undergo his open heart surgery within this year.

Right now, he is battling a bit of a cold. Perhaps if you think of it - you could pray that this cold would go away. We appreciate all the prayer and know Justus is doing well because of our Lord being in control. Justus is a sweet little blessing that we are so thankful for!

Cute Outfits Made by Amanda

2009-06-05T09:59:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures of some very adorable outfits that my dear friend Amanda (at Hand's Trust in Him blog) made for my girls. These outfits consist of pantaloons (sp??) a dress and belt. They are soooo cute! I love them. Amanda does a terrific job picking out fabrics that are very nice and hold up to washing/drying. The fabric is always beautiful and unique. She also does an outstanding job of sewing.

Thank you Amanda - for always giving of yourself and your time!

Justus

2009-05-31T23:19:00.000-07:00

Kelly did some impromptu images of our sweet baby. Go to her blog to check out the other pictures. Thank you Kelly... you did an amazing job! We love them. You captured our heart as you captured our little love in these stunning photos.
Kelly's website: http://www.kellyzaikophotography.com/2009/05/finally-i-meet-beautiful-baby-j.html

Our Baby Justus

2009-05-21T09:11:00.000-07:00

Baby Justus is HERE!

Ellie holding him.

This was actually as Phillip arrived before the delivery.

Sweet.

A purple foot, not quite as dark as it did get later.

In the NICU - day three.

Justus Theodore Browning.

A superb NICU nurse.

Going home!!!!

We welcomed the arrival of our sweet baby Justus at 12:56pm, Monday - May 11th. It was an adventurous labor. I started having pretty consistent and regular contractions around 9:30 am with them picking up intensity around 10 am. Amanda drove me to the hospital, where Phillip came in shortly after us. Little Justus made his debut very quickly in probably the easiest labor and delivery I have had thus far. It was a very sweet time.
We were able to enjoy him for several hours. Napping, suckling, all the normal newborn "things". Then when our Pastor and his wife visited we noticed something. Justus' feet were a very alarming dark purple. We immediately called for a nurse, who was followed by a pediatrician. The pediatrician listened to his heart and determined he heard a murmur. He continued to say he thought Justus also had Down Syndrome.
I was caught by surprise. However, my husband was quickly by my side speaking words of comfort by reading scripture to me. I can't explain the peace that evaded my soul. He truly was used of God to help me focus and lean on my Saviour.
The nurses and pediatrician took little Justus into the nursery to monitor him and do x-rays, etc. Phillip followed his son. I rose from bed and got dressed to go down and learn that they were readying my baby to be transported to the Newborn Intensive Care Unit in another city and hospital. They would transport him via ambulance. We could follow in another car. My heart sank. I had never been away from any of my babies in this fashion. All I could do was pray. It was a tearful goodbye. I was quickly discharged so I could follow my son - for what would be a total of four days in the NICU. Once in the NICU they monitored his oxygen saturation levels, did an echo cardiogram, and abdominal ultrasound, and some other things. He had about three or four "lines" hooked to him. I do have to say that those nurses and doctors are so very good at what they do. They are truly in a position of caring for those who cannot care for themselves - a noble "job" and one that requires much strength. I am so very thankful for them.

We kept receiving comments or questions that assumed we knew prior to our delivery that Justus had Down's. We did not. We decline the genetic screening you can do during pregnancy that checks for it. One doctor commented that if we had done the screening we would have at least been prepared. To that, my husband replied later to me: there is no better "preparation" than that is made by the Holy Spirit.

He is so right.

Plus, if the nurses and doctors had been awaiting a child with a heart defect upon delivery - they would have taken him much sooner. Thus, no nap, no suckling none of the normal things Phillip and I relish after every delivery.

The genetic screening is not very reliable. I am thankful we did not have it done, and will not have it done in the future, if God so allows us to have more children.
The cardiologist determined that Justus has a congenital heart defect that is called Tetralogy of Fallot. About 50% of Down Syndrome children have a congenital heart defect. This will require open heart surgery in a few months. Let me say right here: the down syndrome is not a big deal to our family. We look forward to the simple joys that Justus will bring. We know that his life was created with purpose by our Lord. I have a gift that most mothers will never experience. I have a child of whom will probably live with me for a much longer time than any of my other children. I get to experience his love and companionship indefinitely. The real concern regarding Justus is his heart. I would covet your prayer for our son. The cardiologists would like him to get a little bigger prior to surgery. He may have what are called "blue baby" spells. This is where he turns blue. This is normal with his heart condition, however not normal for a Mom and Dad to watch their baby turn blue! I ask my Lord for wisdom and for guidance in determining what to do in those situations. The doctors have given us some advice at how to manage them and when to call the doctors. Once these spells start to occur they will put him on medication to help so he can get a little bigger before the surgery. We also are trying the best we can to keep illnesses at bay. He is more susceptible to infection. So... I carry hand sanitizer everywhere we go and keep it all over the house. This has been a challenge as it seems we are in the middle of a cold running through all our children.

Please enjoy the pictures. Please know that your prayers over the last week have been a huge help and much felt. While in the NICU, Justus made huge leaps of getting better everyday. For that we are grateful to our Lord. He is so good to His children. We feel both humbled and thankful by the encouragement and prayer of the saints.
I will try and continue to update as I have time.

I have to say that Christ has truly manifested Himself in ways that would have to take a much longer "post" to illustrate to you during this time. God's hand has been "in it all". It is unmistakable and ever so clear. What a comfort!
I also want to mention how thankful I am for my sweet friend, Amanda. She stayed with my children - no complaints, no questions asked. She is a true friend that I was able to lean on in a very difficult time. I had complete confidence that my other kiddos were well cared for and loved. Thank you Amanda - and thanks to my Saviour for His provision of her in such a timely fashion.
Again, enjoy these sweet images of my precious baby. He is already such a joy. Such a good, mellow baby. I treasure the gift God has given me in my family. I am blessed BEYOND measure!

Life Lately

2009-05-08T06:44:00.000-07:00

Here are a smattering of pictures that show what we have been up to lately. The last weekend of April was spent taking our family to what is referred to as the "ribbon festival." This is a festival that helps to test your youngsters skills in piano. Both Isaac and Gabriel participated. This was not our first year in doing so. The boys love it. They have an opportunity to exercise the different skills that are required in piano playing. After each little exercise, the student receives a ribbon to signify completion. The instructor also grades the student, which I believe goes to the student's piano instructor. So much fun. Thank you Julie for involving your students in these types of activities. The challenges it presents helps to sharpen our boys.

Clearly Isaac is thrilled with my picture taking...

Ellie is super excited while we are waiting for registration

Isaac

Gabe

A Ribbon!

These pictures are just random.

Chloe playing with rocks while Phillip is playing basketball with the youth of our church after we had taken them to the nursing home on a Sunday afternoon. It was a beautiful day outside.

I told Ellie to go take a nap - this is where I found her. She fell asleep in baby Justus' car seat.

A day of rare sunshine. We made a morning of playing in it. I watched while sipping coffee.

I hope you enjoyed glimpses into our family. We are busy waiting for baby Justus to make his arrival. Hopefully the next post will be of this sweet baby that the Lord has entrusted to our family.

State Required Testing

2009-05-04T18:16:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to post a quick note to all of the local homeschooling moms who may read my blog. As I am sure you are aware, our state requires that a student (homeschooled or public) take an annual test that meets state requirements. This test cannot be given just by anyone. The administrator needs to meet strict guidelines governed by our state. I, in my pregnant delirium, just about forgot to get this in order. However, I was able to locate a facility that is currently taking registrations for testing scheduled at the end of May. I don't feel comfortable handing out the personal contact info. of this coordinator over the blog, so if you are interested please contact me via email, or phone (prior to May 12th) and I will give you the phone number. Keep in mind, it is a state requirement that your child undergoes testing (I think by the age of eight is when they need to begin testing every year, but may be wrong). I would strongly encourage you to follow through and adhere to the law.

FIVE MORE DAYS...

2009-05-02T09:43:00.000-07:00

...possibly...

Okay... okay... there are a total of FIVE more days until our possible induction. (typed in a breathless realization of the hard honest truth)

I have a doctor's appt. Monday. I am sure we will discuss all the details. We had originally talked about an induction taking place on either Thursday or Friday. We will see...

Hmmm... what do you think he will weigh? How long will he be? When will he actually be born? Will we stick to our name we picked out? Red hair ... or not?

Come on, play along...

Eeeek! ... Nine More Days!!??!!

2009-04-28T08:44:00.000-07:00

So I was talking with my good friend Amanda Mo yesterday and I was reassuring her that she had LOTS of time to get her "to do" list done before she came out here. She in turn exclaimed to me that she did not, she also very sweetly called me a Mo - then went on to proclaim that we only had a little over a week before my possible induction! GASP! WHAT! Where have I been??? What have I been thinking???? She was right! I only have 9 more days until they are going to possibly induce and 12 more days until my due date!!!! YIKES! This pregnancy has FLOWN by. So... needless to say I am now in the mode to really get prepared. Talk about a wake up call! I truly thought I had at least 2 weeks left... crazy preggo brain. You would be wise to not ask any advice from me right now... :-)

Everything A-OK

2009-04-27T17:14:00.000-07:00

Just a short follow up post:

Went to the doctor this afternoon and my blood pressure was great! My blood work came back fine, and everything else with baby looks good. I am thankful! (and enjoying my newly mopped floors!) :-)

Keepin' You "Posted..."

2009-04-27T07:46:00.000-07:00

I went to the doctor on Friday for a regular appointment. They took my B.P. as they typically do, and found that it was high. I normally NEVER have high blood pressure, it is usually low. I can't even remember ever being told it was high. I usually get comments at how low it is. So... I was a little surprised. So was my doctor. He asked if I had experienced the following: headaches, seeing spots, or a pain in my upper abdomen. I answered yes to all. I have experienced those things, but figured they were all normal pregnancy related issues. Based on that and the high blood pressure, he ordered some blood work. He also stated that they would immediately take my b.p. again and if it was the same or higher then he wanted to "talk" to me right away. The concern would be Toxemia. They took my blood pressure again and found it to be slightly lower (but still high for me). My doctor was satisfied to at least see it going down, and so just followed through with blood work and asked me to come back on Monday (today). So I will go in today and we will see ... not sure what to expect. All of the "symptoms" could just be unrelated pregnancy things.

Now I really have to make sure my floors are mopped TODAY! (Just in case) :-)

Update...

2009-04-21T06:53:00.000-07:00

The countdown is on! I am 37 weeks!

Phillip has just started a new job (super big YEAH here b/c it is local) and that means that he doesn't have a whole lot of time he can take for vacation when baby Justus arrives. My doctor has agreed to an induction because of this. So... we are looking at May 7th or 8th for the induction. My due date is May 10th. I am thankful! After three out of five babies being over 1olbs. I have no problem with getting this kiddo out before he hits that mark! This means I have all of 16 or 17 days to scramble and get things done! Yikes! Floors to mop, drawers to organize, and on and on... You think I'm crazy, I know. This is just how I am before a baby comes home. A little over the top. In all reality, most of my list will not be achieved. I just cannot believe that we are this near already. Just seems like yesterday I had a sneaky suspicion.

I will keep you "posted."

The Pink Castle

2009-04-14T10:50:00.000-07:00

The "pink castle".

Getting ready to go.

Walking the "princess walk".

So adorable.

All smiles and excitement.

We did her hair special for just an occassion.

Being a big girl and looking over the menu.

Rose petal tea. My absolute new favorite. This is real rose petals, and tastes wonderful.

Putting cream and sugar in all by herself.

Mmmmm.... so good! The scones were also delicious!

Chloe eating her scones.

Topping it off with chocolate cake!

Last week my boys flew down to Arizona to drive back up with Phillip. They had a wonderful adventure both in the flight and in the drive. Meanwhile, the girls and I made a day of girly things. There is a tea room locally which also serves dessert and lunch. I dressed Ellie up as a princess and took her to what she calls the "pink castle". You see, it is a pink Victorian style building. On one side is a doll shop/gift shop and the other side is a very quaint little restaurant that specializes as a tea room. It was something that I had only dreamed about as a young mother with three robust boys - my little girls having tea. Wonderful. Chloe was a bit under the weather, so that was a bit tricky. However, we did fine. Phillip had flowers delivered and waiting for us when we got there. It was especially fun because a few nights before (prior to us even making these plans) I had made up a story for Ellie while we snuggled in bed. This is something that has become routine. The story was of a young princess who lived in a beautiful pink castle on top of a hill. Imagine her excitement when I announced that we were actually going to have tea at a pink castle! It was her that then came up with the idea of dressing the part. How could I deny such a fun notion.

After tea and lunch we went to Walmart and shopped for new little baby Justus. It was a fun day out for us girls. I am very thankful for Phillip coming up with the idea. I hope you enjoy the pictures.

More Pictures

2009-04-11T10:23:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of Gabriel that Kelly recently took in preparation for an upcoming school session she has scheduled. She truly does a wonderful job. Go to her website to see pictures of the rest of the clan. Just click here: http://www.kellyzaikophotography.com/
Make sure you leave her a comment letting her know what you think. It is always encouraging to hear from people regardless of personally knowing someone or not.
Thank you Kelly for these beautiful images of my most beautiful blessings. You have done a superb job and I know others would be pleased by your work as well.

Maternity Photo Session

2009-04-06T12:31:00.000-07:00

I recently had the blessing/opportunity to have some maternity pictures done in a friend's studio. I had so much fun laughing and chatting with her late into the night. Kelly, you did a wonderful job and I can't wait to see the other images. For those of you who would like to see more from this session you can visit her blog at: http://www.kellyzaikophotography.com
Let us both know what you think. I am trying to decide on my favorites.
Enjoy!
Kelly - thank you for your help in making a little something special take place during this pregnancy. This was such a treat!

Girly Girls

2009-04-04T09:13:00.000-07:00

One day recently, Ellie and Chloe wanted to both play with their baby dolls. Both girls have these dolls that are so pretty that their aunt gave to them as gifts. Ellie's sort of looks like her and so does Chloe's. Ellie's has long brown hair and Chloe's has red. Cute. I kept trying to get Chloe to smile, but she was all seriousness. Then she thought it was funny to stuff her little body deep into the cracks of my sofa. Ohhhhh.... Chloe. (big smile here)

Why the pictures? Well, after so many years of boy toys, dirt and worms - it was one of those moments of which I had dreamed about previously. Watching sisters play with their dollies. It was sweet - I had to capture the moment. I hope there will be many more to come.

Making Dinner and a Lesson Learned

2009-04-02T03:11:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago Phillip had to run an errand. He let Ellie and Ethan stay home to "help" Mom make dinner. I sort of rolled my eyes when he left, thinking that I could get dinner done much faster if I didn't have these little hands to contend with. However, I soon discovered that their joy was contagious. They were literally thrilled to have helped prepare the salmon for baking. They marvelled at how the sugar melted in the saute pan and covered the pecans just so. They were tickled to be able to munch on the candied pecans while they arranged them on the salad with the strawberries. That evening we had a beautiful dinner. Beautiful in that I had two little "helpers" who took much delight in presenting their handiwork to their father. It wasn't the actual work that made their hearts skip a beat - but the look on Daddy's face, showing his approval. I can't help think of the parallel of how we as Christians should labor for our heavenly Father - not taking delight in our own accomplishments, but looking to how it would bring a smile to our Saviour's lips.
I enjoyed making dinner that night, in taking the time to have fun with the preparation. I enjoyed watching my children's faces as they received much acclaim from Daddy. I am thankful that in even this, there was a lesson learned.

Ohhh . . . Chloe

2009-03-31T14:57:00.000-07:00

My little Chloe. So sweet. So pretty. So ... aum ... innocent. Innocently into discovering new things, perhaps. Here are some pictures that I recently captured. The first set is of her quietly getting into her siblings' Valentine Day chocolates we had stored in the pantry. She sat there on the floor getting her hands on all the sweets she could muster. When I discovered her, she giggled with delight and offered me some of her treasure. Her mouth was amazingly clean for the act of which she just performed.

The next couple of images are so cute. I thought she was playing so well in the living room. She was so very quiet. I was in the kitchen doing something. I decided to go check on her and this is what I found. She was having a blast shaking the baby powder all over herself and the floor. She then would take her little finger and "paint" in it. I had to snap some pictures. It was too funny. Hey, at least it was baby powder. It was easy to clean up and made my living room smell good. These are just some of the everday moments of our home. Enjoy.

Grandpa and Grandma

2009-03-16T18:18:00.000-07:00

Theodore Jacob and Freida Bender

This is a picture of my Grandfather and Grandmother on their wedding day. They were married on the same day Phillip and I were. In fact, I did not know that until the day of my wedding and my Grandmother came and told me that Phillip and I were getting married on her 50th wedding anniversary! I considered it a great honor. My Grandpa Bender passed away when I was quite young of a heart attack while I was visiting them. He was a war vet and business owner. He also worked on the Alaskan Pipeline. He was a Christian man. Grandpa was a very hard worker who built his own apartment dwellings to earn more income. I wish he was still around for my children to glean from. Our next child due on Mother's Day will be named for him in using Grandpa's name as his middle name. "Justus Theodore Browning"
I came across this picture of them today and thought how beautiful it was. Look at Grandma's dress. So simple and modest and just beautiful. Look at how dashing my Grandfather was. (click on the image and it will enlarge) I just love this picture and hope to find a special spot for it in my home. Enjoy.

Mac - N - Smoked Gouda with Cauliflower

2009-03-12T22:29:00.000-07:00

Here is a recipe that I tried just a couple of nights ago. It was a yummy twist on an old comfort food. My kids loved it and so did my toddler. It would be a great dinner served with a nice salad and some artisan bread.
I didn't have cauliflower on hand and so skipped that.... it was still a very soothing dish. I purchased my Gouda block from Costco - it will be enough for 3 or 4 go rounds on this recipe. Enjoy!

Recipe by Rachael Ray from the Food Network.

Ingredients
Coarse salt
1 pound elbow macaroni or cavatappi (corkscrew-shaped pasta)
1 head cauliflower, cut into florets
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 small onion, finely chopped
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon paprika
3 cups whole milk
1 cup chicken stock or broth
3 cups shredded smoked Gouda
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
Freshly ground black pepper
Directions
Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Add salt to season the cooking water, then add the pasta. Cook for 5 minutes, then add the cauliflower and cook for 3 minutes more or until pasta is cooked al dente and the florets are just tender. Drain well and return to the pot.
While the pasta cooks, heat a medium sauce pot over medium-low heat. Add the extra-virgin olive oil and heat with the butter until it melts. Add the onions and cook for 3 to 5 minutes to sweat them out and turn the juices sweet. Raise the heat a bit, then whisk in the flour, cayenne, and paprika. Whisk together until the roux bubbles up, then cook for 1 minute more. Whisk in the milk and stock and raise the heat a bit higher to bring the sauce to a quick boil. Once it bubbles, drop the heat back to a simmer and cook until the sauce thickens, 3 to 5 minutes.
Add the cheese to the thickened sauce and stir to melt it, a minute or so. Stir in the mustard and season the sauce with salt and pepper. Pour over the cauliflower and cooked pasta and toss to combine. Adjust the seasonings, transfer to a large platter, and serve.

Life and Such

2009-03-10T08:14:00.001-07:00

I know it has been a week since I have posted so I thought just a little update was in order.
I went to the doctor last week and amazingly found out that I had gained only 1 lb. since the last OB checkup at the end of January! WOW! May not seem extraordinary for some, but for me that is great news! Especially because I have been cutting out all the sweet stuff and can now *see* the benefit of it. Soooo.... since the beginning of this pregnancy I have gained a total of 24lbs. and I will be 32 weeks along on Sunday! So happy about that!
Phillip is also doing great! He is feeling fine and is back to working. I am very thankful for such a sweet husband! He is my heart.
Isaac is getting too big! His size 12 suit (which I never wash, just spot clean and hang up) is too small! YIKES! Now we have to hunt for a size 14 suit! My boy is growing like a weed.
Gabriel just celebrated eight years and is also growing much. He just built a volcano with his Daddy and is waiting to see it "explode". Both boys did a fantastic job performing their piano pieces at state adjudications! I am so proud of them.
Ethan is knocking the socks off Phillip and I by reading from scripture during devotion time. He is also such a sweet little help to his sisters.
Ellie is just a ray of sunshine these days, with many smiles and giggles.
Chloe ... well, Chloe. She got caught yesterday getting into the valentine's day chocolates that were being kept in the pantry. There she was sitting on the floor taking bites out of the little sweets. Pictures will soon follow.

Our life is busy, sometimes hectic, full of unpredictables, but one thing is constant: our life is rich and full of many blessings. I never lack for laughter or for something "to do". I know it won't always be like this - so I better soak it in while I can!

Happy Birthday Gabriel

2009-03-03T08:00:00.001-08:00

Our Gabriel was born eight years ago today. His birth included a surprise that has now become routine in our family . . . red hair. We were immediately taken with our sweet little boy. His red fuzz of hair glowing in the light of the window. He was a big baby weighing in at 10 lbs. 4 oz. He was a cuddly baby. So sweet. As he grew he definitely showed us (and his brother) that he had no problem wearing the title of "Bossy Britches". We all chuckled at him and his antics. Very soon in his life he showed an enthusiasm for the things of God. He became a believer at the young age of five - and has shown much fruit because of that decision. He is a well rounded little boy, with an interest in music as well as showing talent in sports. He also has a passion to learn about our country's history and the soldiers who fought to keep us free. He is a pleaser. Gabriel is always aiming to please his parents and those around him. He loves his family with fervor. We can see that he will be a loyal husband and father, if God so blesses him. He is truly a delight of a son. He adds a depth to our home. His conscience is one of excellent purity - and is a constant reminder to do right. We are VERY PROUD of him and pray that he continues to grow into the meaning of his name: Man of God.

Happy Birthday Gabriel: We love you so very much and are thankful for you!

Challenge: Accepted

2009-02-21T17:53:00.001-08:00

So... April G. posted a challenge on her blog for those who were willing to do it. You are to list the things that you love/like.
The rules:
1. Don't list the obvious: church, salvation, family, etc.
2. No particular order. No limit to number.
3. Don't list thinking of other's reactions. Be honest.

Things that give me great joy and/or LOVE:

1. Blackberry season, and all the pies that I make: I love blackberry pie.
2. A quiet evening in my tub with a hot cup of tea, cold ice water, and a good book.
3. Being cuddled up on the couch, with a fire roaring and snuggled up with Phillip.
4. Seeing our bank account plump with bills already paid. (Okay - so more like a fantasy than reality)
5. Realizing that I am on the verge of leading someone to Christ: both terrifies and excites me to the core.
6. Fresh sheets that are cool to my skin.
7. The smell of lavender.
8. Friends, with a game being played and hot cup of coffee in hand.
9. Laughing until I cry.
10. Seeing Phillip at the arrival gate.
11. The beach: pushing my feet into the sand and smelling that wonderful sea air. MMMMMM. My favorite place to be. I can just feel my worries and cares falling off my shoulders.
12. Beautifully edited images of my family.
13. Freshly vacuumed carpet.
14. Seeing Phillip stand behind the pulpit. Knowing that he speaks with passion and getting ready to experience that.
15. My children, sleeping, playing, laughing.
16. A prenatal visit with only 3lbs. gained.
17. The smell of salmon baking in the oven.
18. Weight loss after pregnancy.
19. Soft kisses from Phillip.
20. Cooking with good friends in my kitchen.
21. A breve from a coffee shop.
22. When I can sense Phillip and I working well as a team.
23. Sugar free chocolate dessert from Olive Garden.
24. When someone scratches my scalp.
25. All my laundry being folded and put away.
26. Christmas and all the anticipation it brings. LOVE IT ALL!

Life ... More Abundant

2009-02-17T21:20:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to reflect over a thought that my husband illuminated during a message he preached on Sunday. This message truly touched my heart. While it was passionately preached, it wasn't just the message in of itself that spoke to me, but the work with which has been wrought in our family working up to the message. Our family has had the opportunity to reflect on life... our life, and how truly sweet our Lord has been to us. While Phillip may travel much, Christ has allowed both him and I to truly see how trusting in Him (Christ) has blessed us in such simple yet profound ways. We realize more now than ever, that our life is not just a life "gotten through" but a life that is ABUNDANT! This is what scripture promises to the Christian. That a believer might not just muddle through living by the seat of your pants, hoping to just get through this situation or that, but that we can fully have peace, experience blessing, and a sense of hope. Not happiness - something deeper, truer. An overwhelming PEACE, JOY, and experience of BLESSINGS. Among some other things during the message, Phillip touched on relationships and how we perceive them to be - how are we expressing to those around us this life of abundance? Mmmm . . . not to over simplify, but allow me to say - my God is good.
Phillip's message spoke to my heart and illuminated the workings with which Christ had already been orchestrating. All around us is a world of chaos and unsurety, yet I rest safely within God's will and care, experiencing peace and joy while smiling at the beautiful blessings in my life. As we stand true to Christ's calling for us as believers - He provides for us a life that overflows with abundancy. Simple things that once reflected upon, bring true joy. The giggles of my children, a home with which to raise them in, a sweet note from my husband, etc. I hope you can reflect on the joys within your life and be able to stand firmly in Christ's promises as well. In so doing, realizing all the while that it isn't what the world offers but what Christ has already provided that allows for a full and abundant life.