Seeking Joy this Holiday Season

I am critical. No - not of you. (although I can also do that from time to time) I am critical of myself. Extremely so. My house is not clean enough. My weight is not where I would like it. I lack in homeschooling my children. I am not stimulating my special needs children in the areas they need it most. I need to be more consistent. I'm too negative at times. I need to be more organized. blah blah blah blah ...

Perfectionism. Blech.

I don't think I am the only Mom that suffers in this area. I know that others do as well. I think it's a human nature thing - and more specifically - it's a Mom kinda thing.

But. It's not ok.

Well maybe it is ... in moderation? I mean, perhaps it helps motivate. But that's not where I want to focus.

I know that scripture uses the story of Martha & Mary to illustrate to us how it is not the "doing" of serving others that we should be focused on, but rather our heart. Our admiration of Christ in the doing. In that you can find joy. Contentment of heart feels good and doesn't bode well of being self critical.

And yet we read in the last proverb of what is referred to as the 'Virtuous Woman' proverb, that this portion is focused on her doings. Even the last verse states 'Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.' Her works praise her. They are a testament to her virtue.

Does this contradict the story of Martha and Mary in Luke 10 - where Martha (the doer) is reminded that " ... Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her"? (Luke 10:42b)

No. The "doing" and the "heart focus" come together in a way that can make the woman ... or anyone ... complete in their faith.

We read in James 2:26 'For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead'. Meaning that works is the manifestation of your faith in Christ.

So what's my point? How does this pertain to me, as a mother, and my zealousness in self criticism?

I need to stop.

I am focused on my inefficiencies and this is an indicator that my heart is not where it ought to be. I am focused on self. On my works - and it is bringing me to a point of frustration and stealing my joy. Really. This is my struggle right now. I am a very busy mom. I'm busy with appointments, school, housework, etc. So I tend to focus on the doings. My heart has drifted away from just seeking Christ and starting there.

My 'works' - is my service. Yes, to my family - but ultimately in serving my family - I am serving Christ. I need to let off on the being self critical and know that I am offering my best (and do that) while maintaining my joy, peace, and contentment all along the way.

Christ is reminding me that my children are watching. What am I teaching them?

So as I head into the rush of this holiday season, I am resolving to daily seek Him - be joyful, take everything in stride and offer a warning:

My home may not be in crazy clean condition if you stop by, but I have tea - and I promise I will clean a spot off my sofa for you to sit awhile and visit.

Have a joyful Thanksgiving.