It has been awhile since I have posted a thought. I don't do this often as I just love to upload images of my beloved family. However, with the news of us expecting a little one - I thought it might be fitting.
Some History . . .
After our 3rd boy (Ethan) we had decided that enough was enough. We were done having children. I had always wanted a girl so badly, however we thought that if we tried for one more - we would just continue to have boys. Phillip was going to make an appt. to make that decision a final one. However, for one reason or another it kept getting put off. Finally, with Ethan's first birthday coming upon us - I reminded him of the possibility of conception. That is when he looked at me and earnestly asked if I would ever look at a newborn and oohhh and aaahhh over it. I couldn't lie. Of course I would. Even though (I thought) I didn't want another one of my own - I knew that I would always have that desire to love on those sweet babies. Phillip said that tiny action of admiring a newborn would make him feel dreadful. Why? Because he would know he could never give that to me again if we went through with this decision - a narrow escape provided by the Lord. . . .
Several months had gone by and through many different circumstances we had come to a very strong conviction that children are a blessing from the Lord. We had always loved our kiddos, but now looked at them in a different light. We truly think of them as blessings. We don't think of our children as burdens or of just another thing in our lives that need to be managed. Sure I have my days, but really is my reaction Christlike?
Due to our recent announcement of expecting a new baby - I have had to reflect on some things that I have encountered. I used to tease and jest about "being with child" too soon or even portray that "not me - not yet" kind of attitude to others. I didn't really think about it. However, in light of our new addition I have had to think about it. I have felt a HUGE amount of conviction for those teasings and jests. More so for the "not me - not yet" portrayals. Why? I think it is contrary to what I feel at the core . . . . that children are a blessing - that each life is a miracle given by God. Life is NOT guaranteed - He holds it within His grasp, and if He allows, it can slip away at the blink of an eye.
Why do I bring this up? First, let me say to those of you I have jested with - I am sorry. I apologize for painting life in such a trivial manner. I am sorry for the negative slant it could have or may have placed on any news of new additions in your life.
I also wanted to address how I truly am excited. Phillip and I both are. No one's reactions or somber attitude will sway my excitement - but spur it on. Sometimes to combat those negative reactions can be trying. However, when I look towards Christ and know that the conviction I hold over such a matter is because He saw fit to speak to our hearts and allow us to see our children as blessings - I put a smile back on my face. You see after our decision to trust in the Lord with the amount of children we have - we found out we were expecting. Nine months later, it was announced that the new life that almost wasn't - was a GIRL! Wow - God was so good to give to me the desires of my heart. Since then he gave Phillip and I another beautiful little red headed girl and what next - well, we will soon find out. For you see, it is about trusting our Father who knows what we need and desire better than we do ourselves. There is security and peace in that.
I praise the Lord for His provisions and His blessings . . .